Dear society,
Why do you have a knee-jerk reaction that makes you think a man is a hero the second he describes himself with one magic word: “feminist”? As a consumer of media, it often seems to me like you celebrate a man’s feminism more than you celebrate mine.
Why can’t you be realistic? For years and years, his predecessors lifted themselves up by oppressing women, both systemically and socially. They didn’t let us vote. They overlooked us for school clubs and promotions. The second we won an award or outperformed them, they belittled us and downplayed our successes to maintain their unjust dominance. However, they had no problem when it came to rating us out of ten in classroom settings, subjecting us to nothing more than a nameless silhouette.
By minimizing our freedoms, many men rose to the top. Some chose to do so consciously and deliberately. Others were ignorant enough to actually think a woman could never be their competition. So in comparison, yes, a male feminist does shine like an angel. But we gotta say it how it really happened; women were the ones who spearheaded their own fights for freedom. When looking back at historic photos of protests for womens’ rights, there are typically zero men in sight.
Although it’s become way more trendy for both genders to call themselves “feminists” while attending womens’ marches, this problem still prevails socially. We all know that one guy who wouldn’t be caught dead wearing a pink T-shirt a few years ago because “it’s so gay” and “it’s a colour for chicks.” Now, all of a sudden, he’s embracing all shades of the colour that’s most closely associated with femininity. He no longer feels embarrassed about deviating from his toxic masculinity and calls himself a feminist on the regular. In fact, you’re probably saying his name in your head while you read this.
But where is “that guy” when his friends make nonconsensual comments about a female’s body in the classroom? From my experiences, he just sits back because he’d rather avoid any potential awkwardness.
I believe part of the problem is that even in 2020, you’re still confused about what feminism really is. It’s oftentimes perceived as an extreme perspective when that’s far from the truth. There are so many times where I was met with shock after simply telling a male that I’m a feminist. In such situations, I would usually reply by explaining the REAL definition of a feminist: someone who supports gender equality.
In response, my male peer would tell me that’s not true. Then, he’d proceed by mansplaining how some feminists are crazy women who don’t shave and dye their hair vibrant colours. Hearing such nonsense made me momentarily speechless. Umm . . . do I even need to explain why that’s so fundamentally incorrect?
My view is yes, we do need more men showing a genuine (and I repeat, genuine) interest in feminism. As activist Malala Yousafzai said, “we cannot all succeed when half of us are held back.” However, glorifying male feminists and shifting focus to male voices is the opposite of feminism. That’s why I believe charities centred around boosting male engagement, like HeForShe, do more harm than good.
Men need to acknowledge they have a different role to play in the push for gender equality. Their voices on the matter shouldn’t be amplified. It’s supposed to be about the words and stories of women who know how much oppression hurts. Although men are still free to comment on various social issues, they need to know their place. And in this social battle, they should begin by letting women sulk in the spotlight for a change.
I hope you think about this next time you feel the urge to pour your heart on Twitter, just because Justin Trudeau reminded the world about his feminism. Why can’t you try fangirling over Yousafzai instead?
Sincerely,
Anna