“Frosh week is where you will meet all of your best friends!”
Similar to many students upon entering university, I felt as if my freshman orientation week was the sole destination for making connections and building long-lasting friendships. When the first week of school passed by and I had not met a single person that I considered a good friend, I felt absolutely crushed and believed that all hope was lost.
I seriously wish I could go back in time to tell first-year me how wrong I was!
Here is the real deal about O-week….although it is a wonderful way to socialize and meet new people, I can promise you that you have plenty of more opportunities to make friends within your university career. I personally took around four whole months to meet my current friends, and in those months, I gathered numerous tips on building friendships and coping with loneliness which I would love to share with you all.
No matter where you are in your university journey- whether you are a freshman who recently completed their first four months of online school or a senior who is entering their last semester, it is never too late to find your people.
If you are struggling to start, here are some tips that I recommend following!
1. You have to make an active effort.
This first piece of advice is the hardest pill to swallow since we often expect friends to magically appear in our lives. However, going out of your way and reaching out to others is the most effective method of expanding your social circle.
Some terrific places to meet people are residences, clubs, and classes! For students living on a residence this year, ensure that you genuinely make an effort to get to know your floormates as first impressions are not accurate depictions of a person’s character. Personally, I initially struggled to get along with one of my floormates, but she grew to become one of my closest friends!
Clubs are also a fantastic way to socialize and create connections. In addition to the hundreds of clubs and organizations that Western University offers, I recommend partaking in a social clubs (e.g. WICSA, CSA), as they specifically cater towards assisting students in building friendships.
Finally, make an active effort to interact with people within your classes! Although the online delivery system creates an evident social barrier, it is possible to discover new friendships by joining Facebook group chats for your courses and study groups. Additionally, it is very common to share classes with mutual friends or acquaintances. Planning study dates with these individuals is a great way to get to know them better and build upon the friendship!
2. Maintaining friendships is as important as initiating them.
I quickly learned in university that after creating an initial connection with my peers, it was equally as important that I reached out to these new friends to plan virtual coffee dates and study sessions, or even just shooting them quick texts to check-in! Making the first move can be uncomfortable, especially when it comes to friendships. However, if your peers truly enjoy spending time with you, they will eventually reciprocate the effort. If you find that they are not as willing to reach out, the best thing to do is respect their wishes and seek out those who are more compatible with your personality and lifestyle.
3. Abolish the idea of a “friend group”.
Western University alone has around 30,000 students so what is the need to limit yourself to a clique or a single friend group? I believe that by focusing on deepening individual friendships, oftentimes those friends introduce you to others and a group can potentially grow from there. However, a friend group is not a necessary outcome from your friendships and does not take away from the significance of the connection you have created with someone. I personally have found that the idea of a friend group also sometimes pressures individuals into feeling as though they need a large number of friends. But in all cases, quality is more important than quantity!
4. Befriend yourself!
I have recently realized that befriending yourself is a priority regardless of the number of friends you have. Additionally, this helps us stay occupied and fulfilled given the lack of social interaction from the Covid-19 pandemic. What ultimately unites a group of individuals are shared passions and interests. Discovering your personal hobbies and pastimes helps establish common ground, and brings you one step closer to meeting more people like you!
5. Never settle for less.
My biggest takeaway from enduring mean girls in high school was that being without a group of friends is significantly better than surrounding yourself with individuals who do not see your value!
Mental health and self-esteem greatly suffer as a result of toxic environments. Your time and energy is precious; ensure that you are only sharing it with people who truly adore you for your individuality.
The final tip I want to mention is to refrain from being harsh towards yourself if you are struggling to make friends and meet people in university. This is not a negative reflection of your character whatsoever and many of your emotions are pandemic-induced!
Building connections and creating friendships are a work in progress and it often takes time to find people who match your energy. I guarantee that if you follow these tips, you will become so much closer to achieving this goal.
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