I grew up as a little girl lost in a fantasy world. Attached to the ideals I discovered through stories. I was mesmerized by characters of fictional worlds as they seamlessly found their happiness. From the time I was young, I was convinced finding my “true love,” would be as easy as the media made it out to be.
Now, as I am in my early twenties and another Valentines day has come and gone, I am still wondering how I believed for so long that finding the right person would not be an uphill battle. Spending so much time with the wrong guys and feeling as though no matter how hard I try, I still do not have the answers.
The truth is, love is not easy. The romance that is portrayed in our favorite movies and tv shows is no more than our hopes of what we wish our realities could be. We create worlds that we desperately want to live in, in order to escape our own and forget how truly difficult love can be.
For so many years, I dreamed of falling in love, convincing myself that through all the frustration and heartbreak, that one guy would come along who would be different. That everything would suddenly fall into place. I thought that the cheesy love stories were real, and it was only a matter of time before a guy came along, who could live up to the expectations I had. He would find me when I least expected it, go out of his way to make me happy, make my doubts and worries disappear. I would not have to guess his feelings, because when the moment came for him to prove it, he would.
Now my fantasies are breaking down, and I have come to realize something very crucial: your happiness, especially when it comes to a relationship, is not going to knock on your door. No one is perfect, and despite what the media portrays in sappy stories and emotional songs, no one will read your mind and know exactly what you want. You have to be willing to communicate and work through conflict. Problems do not just vanish after the end credits or the last chord.
Love doesn’t happen instantly, it grows overtime, and having patience as that time goes by can be difficult, but maybe it is worth it in the end. We have to go out and find our own happiness, because the truth is, the media’s idea of love are fantasies. Real love is trials and tribulation, it is frustration and heartbreak, it is thinking your search is over when it has only just begun.
I still believe that there is love out there for me, but I have come to understand that I can not rush it before the time is right. I can not believe that it will be smooth sailing as I attempt to get there. My heart will break, I will hope for relationships that simply aren’t meant to be, and in the end I will find who is meant for me. I still believe in happy endings, but I know that happiness comes with imperfections, and that’s okay.