The other night, my friend sent me a survey. She called it her “Friendship Survey.” It was filled with questions to determine how she could be a better friend. The questions ranged from favorite candy to enneagram score to love language. This had me thinking a lot about how I could be a better friend. In the past year, intentions have been everything. In college, friends often come from a routine like seeing each other every day in class or every weekend at the bar. It was a lot easier to see people without having to plan it out. During quarantine, friendships took a lot more work. Zoom calls and socially distanced hangouts were a lot more of a hassle to plan and it became very easy to lose friendships. This is when I realized I have to be more intentional in my relationships. Here are a few tips on how to keep in touch with friends and show you care.
- Just send a text
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This is the most simple and obvious one. Just send them a text checking up on them. Ask them how they’re doing in life and ask how you can support them. Let them know you miss them and that you love them. It only takes a few minutes and means a lot to someone.
- Plan a socially distanced hangout
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This one can be a little harder based on location, weather, etc. It may seem difficult to plan a hangout, there are actually many ways to do this! If they’re close, go for a walk or grab a coffee. If they live farther away, plan a FaceTime or a virtual happy hour with a group of friends. My favorite socially distanced activity is watching a movie with friends over Zoom or Netflix Party.
- Surprise them
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Another great way to be intentional is to give them a little surprise. Money is tight for a lot of people so gift giving can be hard. Instead of heading to Starbucks for yourself in the morning, drop their favorite drink off at their house or send them an e-gift card or Venmo. Just a few dollars can turn their whole day around and show that you appreciate them. You can also get them their favorite snacks and drop them off, send them a card in the mail, etc.
- Send them funny Instagram posts or TikToks
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This is my favorite one because it is so easy. Everyone scrolls through Instagram and other social media and sees funny posts. I love sending funny videos to my friends to show that I am thinking of them and to put a smile on their faces. I always smile when people send me TikToks because it shows that they are thinking of me.
- Learn their zodiac sign, enneagram number, love language, etc.
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This is one that I’ve been working on a lot lately. Learning someone’s zodiac sign, enneagram, love language, etc can tell you a lot about a person. Doing research on their answers can show you how to be a better friend as you learn more about them and what they need in a relationship.
- Swallow your pride
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I struggle with this so much. Friendships sometimes seem like a scoreboard. They asked to hang out last time so now it’s your turn. You bought them coffee last week so now they owe you one. This is a toxic and horrible way of thinking. Friendships are not a transaction or a competition. Do something for a friend because you want to, not because you feel obligated to. Swallow your pride and text them first. Make plans even though you made them last time. Friendships take effort and that effort will pay off.
While these things seem so easy, it is really hard to get caught up in busy schedules and everyday lives. It’s important to just take a little time each week and reflect on your relationships and take time to better them. Relationships are super important especially during quarantine when everyone feels a little lonely.