I remember the first time I learned about horseback riding. I was six years old and on a playdate with a friend. Halfway through, she needed to be dropped off at the farm around the corner from my house for a lesson. She said I could wait with her and watch her ride. As I sat there, I kept thinking about how incredible it was that she was sitting on an animal that could move in circles and figure-eights, changing directions and hopping over poles. I asked my dad to sign me up as soon as I got home.
My first lesson was rough. I was on a tiny white pony named Stewie, who was very patient with me, even after I fell off while walking. But I loved being on a horse far more than I did watching them, and my passion has stayed with me since.
In the following years, I chipped away at the sport. Progress was slow because I initially only rode at the barn around the corner from my dad’s house in Florida, which I visited about six times a year. Still, it became part of my identity. Despite the horse girl stereotypes and my slow progression, I continued advocating for horseback riding to become a bigger part of my life until I was able to pursue it full time. Although my time horseback riding started rockily, working to incorporate it into my life shaped my perspective in countless ways.
Horseback riding is a sport that I’ve learned gets little to no credit. Maybe even calling it a sport is a contention, but most people have very little insight into what goes on in the horse world. I spent most of my life riding horses. I’ve realized it’s the hardest sport I’ve ever done for many reasons, but it’s also the most rewarding. That’s something most people misunderstand about horseback riding.
Unlike other activities, horseback riding has many unique, profound qualities. At its core, the sport revolves around care. You need to be receptive, patient and dedicated. You need to recognize when and why something is working and when it’s not, all without the usual forms of communication. Horseback riding teaches you to notice little things you need to interpret like off-kilter gaits, paw marks on the ground and tail swishing. Without this attention to detail, you won’t understand your horse, and without understanding, you’re left with a dysfunctional team.
Horses also showed me that the second part of being observant is grace. There is a saying in the horse world that everyone lives by: it’s never the horse’s fault. Essentially, this means that as a team, there is no reason for you to get upset at an animal whose nature is to think and move independently. When you notice something isn’t working right, it is your responsibility to remain calm and respond with logic rather than frustration. For example, I often struggled with getting my horse to not pull me down with his head through the reins. This required me to stop and start our exercise over and over again, even though there were many times I just wanted to yell at him and get off. But being mad at something with free will and a different language is like being mad at the wind for blowing and asking it why. There is simply no use responding out of resentment. In fact, anger often makes things worse because horses can experience emotions, not sentences. Just as people who speak different languages can still recognize the difference between a smile and a frown, horses can sense our emotions without understanding words. Therefore, poise is the only way to succeed in this sport.
The communicative aspects of horseback riding have often translated into my social life. My time spent with horses taught me how to be perceptive with people because even when we share a verbal language, there are still things left unsaid. I am much more apt to notice changes in tone and eye movements or why someone may shy away from one thing versus another, all of which can offer insight into what they are feeling. These patterns escaped me before I learned to recognize them in a horse. Moreover, horses also helped establish my patience with people. If you were to ask my friends for one word that describes me, it would likely be calm. I’m virtually never discomposed with others because horseback riding showed me it’s futile.
The care involved in horseback riding also makes you work, both mentally and physically. There is heaps of knowledge you need to have memorized, such as differentiating supplements, taking care of gear and setting courses. If you don’t know how to wrap a horse’s leg correctly, you can damage their tendons. Horses have sensitive digestive systems, and feeding them before they’ve cooled down after exercise can increase their risk of colic, which can cause severe abdominal pain. There are plenty of opportunities for mistakes in horseback riding, and unlike many other sports, a lack of knowledge can be fatal. You bear an unfathomable amount of responsibility both in and outside of the farm. Before and after training, taking care of horses requires several steps of preparation like turnout, grooming, tacking up, bathing and grazing. During my competitive years, this process would typically amount to five to 10 hours of physical labor each day at my farm.
My dedication to horseback riding also extended far beyond my training hours. Earnings from my cafe job went towards show fees and farrier bills. My free time went towards analyzing performance replays, watching training videos and reading anatomy books. The effort I put into horseback riding spilled over into every other part of my life.
The lessons I learned from horses continue to show up in unexpected ways. When I need to be vigilant or forgiving or motivated, I look back to my memories on that farm down the street. I couldn’t have learned these skills anywhere else in quite the same depth. Whether I’m navigating conflicts with friends or working through a challenging assignment, those lessons remain with me. The things that horses taught me are things I carry everywhere.