When the initial promo for the film Wicker hit social media feeds, people clutched their pearls at the erotic imagery of a man made of wicker (Alexander SkarsgĂĄrd) pleasuring Olivia Coleman’s character, the fisherwoman. Something about this mystical man, and his basket-woven hands wrapping around Coleman’s waist, immediately turned users on. But underneath a film marketed as a lonely woman finding her wicker boy toy was a tender story of respect and love that was deeper than just sex. Wicker argues that sexiness and connection aren’t just about physical chemistry, but care and respect.
Sure, the relationship between the wicker man and the fisherwoman does initially revolve purely around sex. After their marriage ceremony, they consummate it with a steamy sex scene that’s so intense it breaks the wooden bedframe. While their sex life continues to intensify by night, by day, the wicker man fixes things around the house, accompanies her on her fishing trips, and constantly gives her words of affirmation.Â
A relationship that starts with just sex and the physical gradually develops into a genuine partnership of care and mutual respect. He has no problem being in a position that goes against the traditional gender roles of the village. While many of the wives stay home, care for the children, and lament how unhappy they are in their marriages, their husbands work and provide. But it is the fisherwoman who is the breadwinner, while her wicker husband performs more of the domestic chores. These acts of service and respect for the fisherwoman’s autonomy develop the relationship into a deeper type of intimacy that only strengthens their affection and sexual chemistry.Â
Their radical relationship of a man who helps around the house, respects his wife, and can sexually satisfy her (gasp!) ripples through the village. The women villagers are awakened to how unfulfilled they are in their marriages, both sexually and emotionally. The women are not only jealous of the great sex the fisherwoman and the wicker man are having, but more so of how he shows his love for her through words of affirmation and acts of service. The men of the village begin to resent the wicker man because he has ignited a fire in their wives that they can’t snuff out. The husbands argue that they have sex with their wives, so they should be satisfied, prompting the wicker man to ask one of the men, “But do you love your wife?” The wicker husband knows that it is not just about the physical act of sex, going through the motions, but about showing up for their wives in other ways, showing how much you respect and appreciate her.Â
That’s what’s really sexy.Â