The Dreaded Empty Calendar
Here I am again, dreading the thought of spending another weeknight at home doing absolutely nothing. Because obviously, there are sooo many exciting things happening on a Wednesday night … in Kingston … during midterm season. No matter how exhausting midterms and studying can be, somehow the thought of staying home brings me almost the same amount of stress as my 20% midterm paper. Usually, my go-to stress relief is hanging out with my roommates. But when they’re all busy, I resort to frantically texting my other friends, asking what everyone’s up to and desperately trying to make some last-minute plans. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good night in, all cozy in my room with a good book. However, living in a university town where everyone always seems to have somewhere to be, I can’t help but wonder if I’m missing out on the social event of the century. Maybe it’s not the thought of staying home that bothers me, but the thought of everyone else being somewhere I’m not.
 My Inability to Do Nothing
Every gap in my calendar feels like a challenge, and unfortunately, I’m never one to back down. My poor roommates are constantly being recruited for impromptu movie nights or reality TV watch parties because, apparently, watching television by myself is completely unacceptable. When movie night is not an option, I’ll say yes to practically anything, whether that’s a club event that has absolutely nothing to do with my major or an event I’m attending solely for the promise of free food.Â
Somehow, no matter how high my schoolwork piles up, I can always find time to grab dinner with a friend or go on a sunset walk along the pier. For someone who’s constantly complaining about being tired and having a low social battery, I sure do put a lot of effort into making sure it never gets a chance to recharge.
Everyone Is Having Fun Without Me
On the rare occasion that I finally convince myself (or, more often, convinced by my mother) to stay in for the night, I inevitably find myself doom-scrolling. Snapchat stories, Instagram, and TikTok quickly become my worst enemies because suddenly, it seems like everyone is out doing something exciting except me.
What was supposed to be a relaxing night quickly turns into a spiral of overthinking. I start asking myself, “Am I boring?” “Why wasn’t I invited?” and, perhaps most importantly, “How the hell does everyone have so many different friends?”
I never really experienced FOMO to this extent until I moved away for university. There’s this unspoken pressure to make the most of these years, knowing that we probably won’t have this same level of freedom forever. Between the constant social events, nights out, and seemingly endless opportunities to make memories, it can feel like every night spent at home is an opportunity wasted.
The funny thing is, sometimes I’d genuinely rather be tucked into bed than doing whatever I’m watching unfold on my screen. But that doesn’t stop me from feeling like I’m missing out. I think that’s what bothers me most: not necessarily wanting to be everywhere, but worrying that by staying home, I’m somehow letting my university experience pass me by.
 The Art of a Perfectly Curated Night In
Now, I know I’ve spent the better part of this article complaining about how much I dread staying in, but here’s the thing: I actually love a good night in. It just has to be on MY terms. For me, a successful night in takes a bit of preparation and a LOT of romanticization. Because I believe there is a huge difference between having no plans and having a plan to do nothing.
The first phase of my perfect night in is the food. Whether that means ordering my favourite comfort meal on Uber Eats (Kinton Ramen at the moment) or making a trip to the convenience store for a bag of Miss Vickie’s chips, a good snack is crucial.
Once the food situation is sorted, the next step is to take care of yourself! That means an elaborate everything shower. I’m talking fancy soaps, expensive hair masks, and all the products I usually believe are too nice to waste on a random weeknight. It’s also a built-in fail-safe. At this point, I’ve invested far too much effort into my evening to even consider leaving the house. And just to be safe, I’ll throw on a face mask too.
Finally, with the food secured and the 10-step skincare routine complete, it’s time to grab your favourite blanket, light your best candle, turn your phone off and get nice and cozy with a book you haven’t had time to read or your current bingeworthy TV show. Who knew that all it took to cure my hatred of staying in was a $20 Uber Eats order and a concerning amount of skincare?
The real cure to FOMO
As much as I love my carefully curated nights in, I’ve realized that no amount of takeout, skincare, or cozy blankets can save an evening if I’m still obsessing over what everyone else is doing. You need to start focusing on yourself. It sounds terribly obvious and clichĂ©, but I’ve realized that constantly worrying about what everyone else is doing makes it impossible to appreciate what I’m doing.
From conversations with my friends, I’ve realized just how common FOMO is, especially at university, where we’re constantly reminded that these are supposed to be the best years of our lives. I’m learning that acknowledging those feelings, rather than immediately making plans to escape them, is the first step toward actually enjoying a night to myself. Just because other people are out does not mean I have to be.Â
I’ve spent so much time worrying about what I could be doing instead of focusing on what I should be doing, which is often just taking a much-needed break. Not every night needs to be “a movie,” and not every space in my calendar needs to be filled. Maybe making the most of my university experience doesn’t mean being everywhere at once, but learning to appreciate where I am.