The Comfort in Looking Back
There is something quite special about nostalgia. Whether it’s a song you haven’t heard in years, pictures of what you were doing last week or a smell that transports you to a specific time or person, the feeling takes you there and reminds you of all the little, insignificant moments that, at the time, did not feel important at all but now mean everything. Perhaps it is the comfort we find in familiarity that makes nostalgia so appealing. In a world that is changing quicker than the seasons, our memories serve as a place for us to return to when in need of comfort. Looking back can feel like a warm hug, and there is nothing wrong in wanting to hold onto that. But hold on too long and you may start to find you are ignoring the warmth around you right now.
When Nostalgia Becomes Expectation.
I find myself to be absolutely suffocated with nostalgia around Christmas (not complaining!). Every year, my social media feeds fill up with nostalgic Christmas videos: all the cosy childhood traditions (a rich tea biscuit and royal icing hated to see me coming), the glowing Christmas trees with multicoloured lights, and all the old-timey songs accompanying them. Before I know it, I am longing for a feeling I can’t quite put my finger on, and I’m imagining what the perfect Christmas would be, built from snippets of my own memories and bits of the content about Christmas I’ve been fed. Yet, when Christmas actually arrives, it can sometimes feel… underwhelming. Not because anything is wrong, but because the reality cannot compete with the ideal I have created in my head. I am comparing the Christmas I am living to a collection of memories that have been filtered through time and external influence, that may not have ever existed quite as perfectly as I remember them.
Learning to be Present.
Perhaps this is the issue with looking backwards too often. We romanticise what has been, forgetting all the less magical moments, and unintentionally placing expectations on the present that it cannot possibly meet. We become so busy chasing a feeling that we forget to actually look around at what is in front of us, so we can experience that free from a preconception. The irony is, these ordinary moments might be the very ones we look back on fondly; take right now, for example: I am writing this in my university bedroom as a third-year student knowing that this time next year I will be desperate to be reliving it. Life never looks like the perfectly edited videos we see that portray someone’s memory as flawless. Nevertheless, perhaps that faultiness of the real moment is what actually makes is meaningful and worth reminiscing on.
The Beauty of What Comes Next.
I do not think that the answer is to stop looking back. Being nostalgic is one of my favourite things to do. Our memories are precious, and there is comfort in revisiting the people and experiences that have shaped exactly who we are today. But perhaps we can learn to hold them a little lighter, appreciating them without expecting the present to replicate them. There are still friendships to make, places to discover and moments we cannot yet even try to imagine. Not every chapter will be better than the last, but that does not mean our best days are behind us! So, this Christmas I will spend a little less time longing for the magic I remember and a little more time noticing the small spouts of magic that are already there. Because one day, this will all be a memory too. And I would rather have truly lived it then spent it wishing it were something else.