Pick Me Girls: A New Way to Hate on Women

Women have always been expected to fit into a box. Our appearance, personality, and interests are commonly expected to align with what society views as being feminine. More recently, a specific term has been circulating online. 

“Pick me girl” is a phrase that originally was created to refer to a woman who purposefully puts down other women, or alters her personality, simply to garner positive attention from men. For example, someone may make negative comments about you, only in front of guys, so that they appear better. While I can understand the frustration with women who do this, the term itself has slowly become another outlet for misogyny. Women should be able to take part in interests that may be male-dominated. Topics like cars, video games, or sports are typically discussed amongst men. However, that does not mean that women cannot also find a genuine interest in these subjects. But, if they do showcase these interests, especially online, people are quick to assume that they are doing so for male validation. 

Actress Inde Navarrette, who gained notoriety for her role in Obsession (2025), has fallen victim to being accused of being a “pick me girl.” The discourse on this topic is what initially sparked the idea of writing this article. Inde has been seen on multiple interviews showing off her sense of humor. Now, it’s not everyone’s cup of tea. She makes faces, silly noises, and often puts on voices. This humor has caught the attention of many, but not for positive reasons. People are claiming that this style of joking caters to a male audience, but I don’t find this to be true. 

Not only do women have men constantly assuming they’re “larping,” but now other women are coming after each other. As a girl who holds her interests very dearly, I now worry about discussing these hobbies, out of fear that it will appear I’m doing so for attention. 

In all honesty, I believe the main reasoning behind these allegations is because she is a conventionally attractive woman who also happens to have a personality. Inde has already been acknowledged by thousands of men online, who take interest in her because of her appearance. This male attention is unwarranted, and it does not seem that she is seeking it out. But, because she also is not shying away from her expressive personality, people are quick to claim that she is looking for attention. It is disheartening to see so many individuals, including women, harass her for merely having a bubbly personality. On top of this, Inde has expressed her love for anime, video games, and cars. These are all things that are not niche in the slightest, yet only add to the amount of hate she has been given, fueling the fire immensely. 

Women should be able to have interests, they should be able to like anything or act any certain way, without it having anything to do with men. We as women often get so lost in critiquing other women, that we lose sight of what matters most, individuality. 

Girls are unique, and don’t always fit into the mold that society has tried to force us into for so long. We need to embrace each and every personality for what it is, and appreciate these

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