Doing almost anything alone can feel vulnerable and scary. It can feel like everyone is looking at you and thinking, Why is she here by herself? These might just be an overthinker’s thoughts, but if you’ve had them before, know you’re not alone.Â
Why do we feel awkward doing things alone? Is it because we’re constantly thinking about what others think of us? If so, it’s almost guaranteed that no one is paying attention to whether someone is doing something by themselves.Â
Why do we feel as if our experiences are less meaningful when we are by ourselves versus with someone? Maybe it’s because we have become so accustomed to documenting what we do with others that, if we don’t, it feels like we haven’t even done it.Â
Whatever the case is, there isn’t a good enough reason to say no to something just because you’ll have to do it alone. Here is a small guide to becoming more comfortable doing things alone:
Make sure start small. You don’t have to visit a whole new city by yourself right away. Start by taking a walk outside without asking anyone to join you. If walking isn’t your thing, go to the Boston Common. Sit on a bench and enjoy people-watching, or bring a book or journal. Go to a coffee shop by yourself, even if you don’t necessarily have homework to complete.Â
As you become more comfortable with being alone, start taking yourself on dates. Boston has so much to offer! Go shopping by yourself. Walk down Newbury and head over to the Prudential. Alternatively, go to a movie by yourself. You won’t have to worry about watching something that everyone enjoys because all that matters is what you think. Boston also has so many cool museums — the MFA is free for students, and all you need to do is browse and take in the beautiful art.Â
By doing these things on your own, you’ll start to find hobbies that are yours. They’ll be something to fall back on when you get bored, and you won’t always feel the need to reach out to people when you want to go out, since you’ll be so comfortable in your own company.
I’m not going to say doing all of these things will be easy. It might feel a little awkward and uncomfortable. But don’t judge the experience too quickly. Stick it out. When you do things you truly enjoy, it won’t feel like you are forcing it — it’ll feel like you’re actually having fun. Put your phone away, and enjoy the activity. Be present in the moment.Â
Being comfortable doing things alone doesn’t necessarily mean that you always have to do things alone. The goal isn’t to become the person who never needs anyone else. It’s to become someone who can enjoy a Saturday afternoon alone just as much as a Saturday afternoon spent with friends.
You can love your friendships and still appreciate your independence. You can enjoy having people to share experiences with without believing that every experience needs to be shared to be meaningful.
And perhaps most importantly, you can stop treating your own company as a last resort.
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