The fall season has so many exciting parts to it: the ever-changing colors, the bustling of the new semester, and all of the chaos that comes with Halloween. Adding a birthday in there may sound exciting, but it can often lead to a level of burnout and negative feelings, especially as you continue to get older. In my years at the University of Connecticut, and with every birthday, I’ve experienced some hard feelings about growing, nostalgia from the past, and insane stress, all which have led me to whip up some thoughtful tips on how to navigate this time. Birthdays and fall are supposed to be exciting and warm, no matter how cool the temperature is turning.
It’s okay to do it alone
With everybody’s busy, incompatible schedules, it can be impossible to find a moment to get all your favorite girls together for a cute event or day out. But there are plenty of ways to spend time alone, enjoyably! You shouldn’t have to push around your plans or not do something just because everyone is busy, or because you don’t have friends, or any other reason. I recently went on a hike by myself with the UConn Outing Club, and ended up making some new, amazing friends in the process, all from hyping myself up when I didn’t initially want to go. Looking back, I had a wonderful time doing one of my favorite hobbies and meeting great people.
It can also be upsetting to hear everyone say, “sorry, I’m busy,” or feel lonely when people hang out with their large friend groups while you ride solo. However, there are a lot of solo dates and fall activities that are so fun individually, if not better! Lately, I’ve been really enjoying foliage hikes and workout classes, especially fall- and Halloween-themed ones. I love fitness and feeling festive, and seeing others workout alongside me is super motivating. I also love Trader Joe’s runs, exploring new coffee shops/recipes, and going to pumpkin patches. If you’re like me and are learning to bake, whipping up a fall sweet treat with a good book is the way to go; pumpkin bars have been a big hit of mine recently.
Spending your birthday alone is also seen as a negative thing, and the world makes it seem like you need to have a huge birthday dinner or rager. However, the simplest birthdays are sometimes the sweetest, and I can attest with my lovely afternoon out alone recently. I turned 20, and spent my birthday afternoon in a spin class, followed by a nice sushi lunch, and a chill shopping spree in my hometown. I ended up having more fun than restricting myself to doing nothing because my friends were busy with classes. Everyone deserves to treat themselves on their special day, even solo.
you don’t have to plan every moment!
My fellow Type A girls are defrosting and ready with their planners. I feel that I need to be constantly prepared and have lists and plans for everything coming up, and though this is valid for academics, it can add unnecessary stress when it comes to fun events! Putting a lot of pressure on events that are supposed to be exciting can even make them less fun, which no one wants.
Recently, I laid off the role of “traditional planner” and let things flow naturally. Not to say I stopped planning everything, but rather than rushing to figure out my birthday dinner or my Halloween costumes, I turned it into a fun activity of scrolling through Pinterest for ideas and did it over a week’s time instead of cramming it all into a short period of time. I also recommend not leaving planning for the last minute, as this can elevate stress and cause messiness with plans!
MAKING FALL YOURS
I’m a simple girl, and I love some surprises, but I need a routine and traditions to stay sane and excited for things! With this, I love a good birthday fall tradition that involves making the whole month exciting. On the day of my birthday, my family and I generally stay up till midnight, and they sing to me and we hang out for some time, since we all go to sleep relatively late. We also generally do a home cooked meal for dinner, something that we value in our family, and my parents make some of my favorite dishes every year, such as gulab jamuns and shahi paneer.
In my birthday month, I enjoy giving myself larger gifts throughout the month as a reward. Though I do love cute girly items, I enjoy experiences as well, which is why I get a new piercing or tattoo during my birthday month, as well as a fresh set of nails. I usually make a list of what I want for my birthday that year a month prior, and get some stuff off of that list, then show my family and friends the remainder for inspiration.
This may feel excessive or unnecessary to some people, but with the loneliness, stress, and planning that comes with the fall semester, giving yourself an exciting way to start your birthday month is just what you need as a treat to yourself. It’s also an engaging, enlightening way to heighten your mood.
fallin’ through the years
Birthdays, especially during this time of year, are an event that puts a lot of pressure on us. But it’s important to remember that the big day doesn’t define everything you’ve done in the last year or what’s yet to come in this season! Allowing yourself to enjoy the fall frenzy without letting it overcome you is easier said than done, but with self-gifting, intrinsic motivation, and some simple annual traditions, you can make this season’s transition much easier.