If you had told thirteen-year-old me that one day I’d willingly choose to spend a Friday night hanging out with my parents, I probably would’ve laughed in your face.
Growing up, my parents were just my parents. They were the ones who told me to clean my room, reminded me to finish my homework, and occasionally ruined my plans by telling me I couldn’t go out. And while I’ve always loved them, I definitely didn’t consider them my friends.
I’ve always been incredibly close to my family, and my parents were never that strict, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t told no a time or two. Like most teenagers, I was usually annoyed by their rules and advice, and thought they were just getting in the way of my life when they were actually trying to help me. But moving away for college changed my relationship with my parents in ways I never expected.
Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder
Going from seeing my parents every day after school, eating dinner together, and spending most of my free time at home to suddenly living on my own was a difficult adjustment. While I was busy building a new life at college, everyone else’s lives back home continued without me. For the first time, I felt like I was missing out on my own family, and I began to appreciate the time we spent together in a way I hadn’t before.
I went from calling my parents to pick me up from school or ask them for something to calling them just to talk. I think I’ve called my mom at least ten times a day since my first day of freshman year, most of the time with absolutely nothing to say. Sometimes I just want to tell her something funny that happened, ask what she’s doing, or hear her voice. I miss having my parents around, and those phone calls have become my way of making the distance feel a little smaller.
Moving away made me value my relationship with my parents more, and coming home from college became exciting for a reason I hadn’t anticipated. I always thought I’d look forward to going home to reunite with my high school friends, catch up on everything I’d missed, and visit my favorite local spots. And while I still love doing those things, I’ve realized that what I look forward to most is simply spending time with my parents.
The last time I was home, I found myself at a cute restaurant I’d been waiting forever to try with my friends. Instead, I was sitting across from my parents, laughing, talking, and having just as much fun as I would have with any of my friends. I was there completely by my own free will, and never once considered what else I could be doing on a Friday night in my hometown. We talked all night about life, school, friends, and everything in between.
Somewhere in the middle of dinner, I realized that my parents had become people I genuinely wanted to hang out with.
Growing Closer
I think one of the biggest changes that comes with growing up is realizing that your parents are more than just the people who raised you. They’re people with their own personalities, interests, stories, and experiences that you might not have paid much attention to when you were younger. And as I’ve gotten older, I’ve found myself wanting to know more about those sides of them.
Our conversations have changed, too. What used to be questions about whether I’d finished my homework or what time I’d be home have turned into conversations about our lives, friendships, and everything going on around us. I find myself asking for their opinions, telling them things I probably (… definitely) wouldn’t have told them a few years ago, and genuinely enjoying hearing what they have to say. It’s funny how the same advice I might’ve rolled my eyes at as a teenager is now something I actually seek out.
And I think that’s what makes this new stage of our relationship so special. My parents haven’t stopped being my parents, and I certainly haven’t stopped needing them. But now, alongside all the love and support they’ve always given me, there’s a friendship that I never expected to have.
I think thirteen-year-old me would be pretty surprised to see how much things have changed. The same people I once begged to let me go out on a Friday night are now the people I’d happily spend one with.
And while they’ll always be my parents first, I’m grateful that growing up has given me the opportunity to become their friend, too.
Turns out, my parents are pretty cool after all.