You’re where you are meant to be, so show up intentionally.
When you get into the driver’s seat of your own car, what do you do? Typically it falls somewhere on the lines of starting your car, maybe putting on some good music, and then driving. It’s as easy as that. You don’t wait for permission to go where you need to go, you’re in full control. Take that same thought and apply it to your life as a whole. It doesn’t seem as simple, does it? If we take that same mindset, that we are in the driver’s seat of our story, we can stop waiting for someone else to hand us the keys and drive towards the life we want.
My whole life, so twenty one years, I have always found it interesting the amount of pressure society puts on us to wait to be chosen for things. In most of my personal experiences, the things I choose to do, I often do them because someone prompted me to. My assumption is that I’m not the only one who felt that way. Junior year of college I took a step back. I was staring at my calendar and waiting for something, not anything in particular, but waiting to fill up the empty space with some color coded segment. I scrolled around through my phone for any messages or emails I had missed, inviting me to a meeting, a party, a dinner, anything. After about half an hour, it hit me. Why was I waiting around for someone to give me permission?
I started to realize that I had become so comfortable waiting for things to happen to me that I forgot I could make them happen for myself. We get comfortable with waiting because it limits the chances of rejection. No one finds genuine enjoyment in rejection. However, we forget another thing that most everyone has in common. Humans seek connection with one and other. Sure, it’s more comfortable to wait for someone else. When someone invites us, we don’t have to wonder whether we’re wanted, all of the pressure falls on them, not us. But, when we spend so much time waiting for that reassurance, we give other people the power to decide how we spend our time. Somewhere along the way, the line between being invited and being worthy of showing up started to blur.
Challenge the idea that being invited makes your experience more valuable. You are exactly where you are meant to be, every choice, experience, memory, or action has led you here. So, show up in that space. The world we live in prioritizes comfortability over taking an extra step for a new experience. That brings us to a harsh reality, we need to be comfortable enough in ourselves to walk into a room without needing anything first. Whether it is introducing yourself to someone new, attending a club meeting where you don’t know anybody, or pursuing a leadership opportunity without someone pushing you towards it. All of this starts with trusting yourself enough to try. We are taught a lot of the time to search for validation from others when in reality we need to create security within ourselves. Learning to enjoy our own company and find happiness in the lives we are building gives us room to see the world from the driver’s seat.
So, let’s put this into action. What does giving yourself the green light actually entail? This can look like as easy as texting a friend first. Start the plans on your own. It could be walking into a club meeting where you don’t know anyone, or applying for a leadership position even when you’re unsure of the outcome. None of these things guarantees that we will be welcomed with open arms or that everything will work out as planned. But that’s part of the process. If we as people stop doing anything that holds a risk, we wouldn’t do anything at all. We cannot expect to grow into new versions of ourselves if we stay put in the things that feel comfortable. Don’t take this as making everything a solo endeavor, some of the best memories involve those who showed up. The difference is getting rid of the necessity of someone else making the first move before we give ourselves the chance to experience something new.
Think back to sitting in the driver’s seat of your car. You wouldn’t sit there forever waiting for someone to tell you where to go. So why do we do that with our own lives? We might not have control over the people we meet, the opportunities we receive, or the roads that appear in front of us – but we do have a say in whether or not we try. You don’t have to wait until someone chooses you. Choose yourself. Take up space and show up as the person you want to become, that’s part of growth. You are in the driver’s seat of your own story. It’s time to start driving.