Three days a week, I spend my mornings in my statistics class. I have a routine for the start of every class: I enter the room, sit next to my friends, and get my materials together as I prepare for lecture. I never expect anything unusual to happen in that brief time because, up until a couple of weeks ago, nothing unusual had happened.
As I got my laptop out, I noticed one of my classmates, someone sitting a couple of rows away from me, flashing a shiny new ring on her finger to the gaggle of girls sitting around her. The diamond on her ring finger flashed under the white fluorescents, settled on a small silver band hugging her skin. I looked to my friend, who was equally as shocked to see this girl, a classmate who, like ourselves, who was no older than 21, exclaiming that she had gotten engaged just last night.
Anyone who has TikTok has likely seen the countless videos of young women, barely older than 20, explaining how happy they are to be stay-at-home wives and mothers. They would much rather be married young, taking care of a household instead of getting an education or joining the workforce.
These examples of early marriage, while representative of more extreme cases, are reflective of overall Gen Z dating and lifestyle trends. There’s been a significant push to be in established, adult-like relationships at a young age. Getting engaged and married younger and younger has become normalized, and in some cases, marriage is a replacement for higher education or joining the workforce.
More conservative dating trends might be the result of other habits which have been prevalent in the young-adult populations. A greater awareness of wellness and a reduction in partying compared to previous generations could be a cause, or it could simply be the result of more and more people being in serious relationships.
Perhaps another cause for this shift away from party and hookup culture is the ease of long-distance in the modern day. Technology makes it so much easier to stay connected with people, so continuing to date, say, a high school sweetheart or someone you met on study abroad during college is easier now than ever.
Additionally, in a day and age where everything is so uncertain, from the climate to the job market to the future of AI, maintaining stability in the form of a long-term relationship creates a sense of control which so many young people seek in their lives.
All this to say, it’s not that getting married young is inherently bad. For some people, it provides financial stability and opportunities which they otherwise wouldn’t have. But historically, marriage has been a means to control women, and as we watch a trend towards conservative and right-wing politics across the globe, it’s necessary to think about the ways in which marriage and relationships have limited women’s access to education, jobs, income, and independence.
Being in a serious relationship isn’t bad, and preferring to spend a weekend night practicing self-care doesn’t mean you have to be boring. However, in a changing political climate that seeks to limit female rights, it’s important to remember that your twenties are for yourself and your exploration, discovery, and growth.
No shiny ring or relationship should get in the way of that.
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