You know those characters in TV shows that you can’t decide whether they’re good or bad? The ones that are never black and white, but grey? Yes, they’re the complex characters, and I would argue that complex female characters get more hate than complex male characters just because they’re women.
This is just my opinion, but when there are two characters with similar stories and they’re of opposite genders, people tend to pick a side. And usually, it’s the male character that gets picked. I’ll dive into this more by giving a few examples.
Korra vs Aang
Both Aang and Korra struggled with their Avatar duties and responsibilities. Both experienced trauma that was hard to deal with, challenged authority and followed their own beliefs.
Aang had to face his responsibilities as the Avatar at an early age, so he couldn’t handle the pressure and ran away. He disappeared for a hundred years, leaving the world without the Avatar’s help during the Hundred Year War. People often sympathise with him for running away because he was just a child who was given an enormous responsibility. However, when you think about it, Korra gets hate for similar reasons.
Korra found out she was the Avatar when she was a toddler, even younger than Aang. She was trained by the White Lotus until she was around 18 years old. Basically, she was isolated. So when she started fulfilling her Avatar duties, she was a teenager who knew almost nothing about the world. Yet people criticise her for being reckless.
Aang’s actions are considered understandable because of his emotions and his age. People tend to empathise with him but ignore these factors when it comes to Korra.
Part of the hate Korra gets might be because she breaks the traditional idea of femininity. She is physically strong and mentally tough. In my opinion, people aren’t always used to seeing female characters who are this physically powerful, confident and outspoken. Qualities that are often admired in male characters can sometimes be seen as annoying or arrogant in female characters. I think this discomfort, combined with misogyny, might explain some of the criticism Korra receives.
While the fact that these characters are from different shows could be a reason they get different reactions to their behaviour, it still makes you think: Why is Aang seen as a child going through extreme trauma while saving the world, while Korra is expected to be perfect and face her problems without hesitation?
Robin Scherbatsky vs Barney Stinson
Another example would be Robin and Barney from How I Met Your Mother. Robin and Barney are perfect for each other because they’re similar. It’s actually explained in the show. They initially don’t want to get married or commit to someone, they both want something casual, and they clearly get along very well.
However, people are mad that Robin got with Ted’s best friend and treated Ted poorly, even though she had been honest with him from the start. Robin never wanted to get married or have kids. She always prioritised her job over men.
Barney, on the other hand, doesn’t get as much hate because he was already portrayed as a playboy and suddenly fell in love with Robin, so Robin was the one to “fix him”. He played and manipulated so many women, even Robin, while proposing to her. Arguably, his betrayal of Ted was bigger than Robin’s because they had a “bro code”, which Barney took very seriously.
Another example is when Robin and Barney cheated on their partners with each other. Robin cheated on Kevin, and Barney cheated on Nora. They both made the same mistake, but when Robin decided to stay with Kevin while Barney broke up with Nora, the audience was encouraged to feel sorry for Barney. Even though they were both responsible for cheating, Robin became the one who broke Barney’s heart.
Barney’s unseriousness and fooling around are often treated as funny and charming, even when his actions hurt other people. But when Robin wants to prioritise her career over relationships, she gets criticised for being selfish. It almost seems like Barney’s flaws are part of what makes him lovable, while Robin’s flaws are what make her unlikeable.
Peyton Sawyer vs Jess Mariano
These characters are from different shows, but I find them very similar, and I feel like this is a great example for this article.
They both got involved with people who were already in relationships, they both struggled with expressing their emotions and communicating, and they both hurt the people they cared about.
Even though the scenarios aren’t the same and the shows tell different stories, Jess is romanticised as this “bad boy” who is only nice to Rory. So again, as in the How I Met Your Mother example, Rory is the one to “fix him”. But Peyton gets so much hate for similar reasons.
In Peyton’s story, Lucas is the one to save her. While Jess is seen as a victim of absent parents, Peyton is seen as playing the victim.
And there’s a scene where Jess keeps pushing Rory’s physical boundaries even though she’s uncomfortable and tells him to wait. He then gets angry when she pulls away. Despite how serious this scene is, some fans still sympathise with him and defend his behaviour because “he’s just a sad little boy who doesn’t know how to deal with his emotions”.
They were both sad teenagers dealing with their problems alone, but they get different reactions from the audience.
Of course, their gender can’t be the only reason they get different reactions from the audience. How the show portrays them or how the storyline continues can affect the audience’s perspective, but I think gender plays a big role in this.
It’s almost like women are expected to be perfect and aren’t allowed to make mistakes. Men, on the other hand, can make many mistakes and not be held responsible for them because they have a reason.
I’m not saying these female characters should never be criticised or that the male characters don’t deserve sympathy. I just think that if we’re willing to understand why male characters behave the way they do, we should be willing to do the same for female characters. After all, isn’t being flawed what makes a character complex in the first place?