They aren’t written by women that are not in the gates of conformity themselves.
When scrolling through TikTok or Instagram Reels, I always find people calling certain characters in shows or movies “relatable.” It could be a clip from a film or a character trait; no matter what it is, people relate these things back to themselves. In my experience, I find that a lot of women in media can be hard to connect with. While that may not be the case for everyone, a lot of archetypes of female characters have similarities: ones that tend to relate to attractiveness and desirability.
A common trend in depictions of women in film and television is that those playing them are conventionally attractive. Even in book adaptations where the characters are described as plain or somewhat unattractive, the actresses playing those characters are always stunning. Some films or shows may only portray sexualized women with little character depth, like the Marvel Cinematic Universe’s Black Widow. Producers do this to attract audiences because people tend to watch things when the people in them are attractive. For women, this could lead to a disconnect, as the women they see in the media they consume look too “perfect” in comparison to themselves.
While that may be something commonly known by audiences, there is usually an additional trait paired with their outward appearance: the women are centered on men. That may manifest itself in different ways: a woman uplifting a man, a woman having little personality outside her romantic relationship or a character arc that focuses on romantic relationships instead of platonic or familial ones. This could be disconcerting for women whose development was centered on relationships that were not romantic.
A character that follows this trope is Belly Conklin in The Summer I Turned Pretty. The story centers on a character who suddenly became “pretty” one year, and now gets attention from men that once overlooked her. The show follows her relationship with two brothers, and although there is some exploration of her relationships with her friends and family, most notably the death of her mom’s best friend, Susannah, it mostly focuses on the brothers.
This show is widely popular among teenage girls, and I find it unrealistic and not really relatable. Belly is hard to relate to because her decisions reflect her romantic feelings for the brothers, and conflict arises because of that. The drama may be interesting, but the characters tend to fall flat.
Women who follow these patterns can still be relatable, but there can still be a gap of disconnect between female viewers and the women portrayed in these mediums.
An example that breaks this trend is Lady Bird, directed by Greta Gerwig. The main character, Lady Bird, struggles with familial relationships, her complicated feelings towards her hometown, and friendships. Although she does have romantic relationships, they are unconventional and reflect the trial and error that tends to accompany adolescence. Lady Bird can be unlikeable at times, but she can be understood. Relatability, in my opinion, is not determined by likeability. It is about allowing women to exist with their complexities without always involving romantic relationships.
Many unrelatable depictions of women are written from the male perspective, but some, like The Summer I Turned Pretty, are written by women. In a way, this reflects conformity within the entertainment industry, where women may accidentally fall into the cycle of creating characters that are unrelatable to audiences even if the show itself is entertaining.
There are a lot of exceptions like Lady Bird, and they have only grown in number, but old depictions of women still exist and continue to thrive in different sections of the entertainment industry.
As an audience, we need to seek out films with characters we can see ourselves in and not let ourselves get used to the old standards that have been set.