Edited by: Zaineb SarangÂ
There’s something so magical about finally seeing that artist you’ve been dreaming of since childhood.
For me, that artist was 5 Seconds of Summer. I was lucky enough to be able to attend two of their shows this past summer, and—not to be too dramatic—the experience was life changing. This band has always been one of the most special to me; their music has been with me since I was 13, I have basically grown up with it. Getting to see them live after all these years has taken me back to the very beginning of my obsession with them.
It felt like a full circle moment, like I was my 13-year-old self again for a few hours. I have been an admirer of media (AKA a “fangirl”) for as long as I can remember. Being a fangirl is such an important part of my life; loving all types of music, TV shows, movies, and books makes me who I am. I have incorporated so many of the people, arts, and media I admire into my academic and personal works, and I don’t think I will ever truly “grow out of it”.Â
We have all heard the phrase, “it’s just a phase”, and for me it has always come up in the context of my interests. There has never been a time where I have been obsessed with something and the thoughts of, “maybe it really is just a phase” or “I’ll get over it soon”, haven’t crossed my mind at least once.
While I have “gotten over it” for a period of time, I’ve come to realize that I always go back to the things I was obsessed with when I was younger. I still feel that intense feeling of nostalgia when I listen to my playlists from my early teenage years. These songs take me back to a much simpler time, and for a few minutes I can feel like I never grew up. Â
Nostalgia is a funny feeling – it brings joy and reminiscence, but with it comes a hint of sadness and longing. I feel it a lot, and I am sure it’s normal, but it pains me to wish for something I know I can’t get back. Life moves on, and I just have to move with it – but I will always cherish the songs, shows, movies, and characters that bring fond memories back. As the seasons change, I feel it more; nostalgia brings that same warm cozy feeling that comes with autumn. Â
This feeling is a reflection of myself. It is a reminder of my growth.
As I write this, I am listening to the playlist I made in my first year of university; it makes me think back to who I was back then, even if it was just three years ago. I question whether that version of myself would be proud of the version writing this right now.
I feel like a completely different person now, but that first-year version of myself still exists within me. I have achieved many things that seemed so far-fetched to first year me, experiences I never even considered were possible. My mindset has developed quite a bit, but one thing I can stay true to is that the things I admire will stay with me forever. Â