Disclaimer: This article contains mentions of sensitive topics such as hate speech and violence.
Ever since the humorous tag “#IHateAllMen” and the idea of “It’s All Men” began trending on social media, I have noticed a surge of people who oppose feminism because they believe feminists are promoting misandry. In fact, they have taken over feminist discourse by bringing up both issues as though they are equivalent forms of oppression.
the big diffrence
From what we know, misogyny came about with the birth of the patriarchy during the First Agricultural Revolution. For thousands of years, across hundreds of cultures and dynasties, women have been robbed of their autonomy and subjected to extreme violence. From having no economic power and being trapped in abusive marriages to genital mutilation and purity culture, time and time again, women have been punished for the crime of being born. It wasn’t until the birth of the feminist movement in the 19th century that (some) women were truly permitted to experience freedom and happiness.
Although hostility toward males has undoubtedly existed for centuries, misandry as a concept came about during the first wave of feminism in the late 19th century. As the feminist movement challenged patriarchal structures, some men feared that feminists would take over society’s top positions and subject them to the same mistreatment women had faced for generations. In other words, misandry is a direct consequence of misogyny.
From what I could find, misandry has never resulted in violent hate crimes. Furthermore, unlike misogyny, misandry is not programmed into our systems; therefore, it does not influence how we function as a society, nor is it a common occurrence. At most, misandry offends men through the idea of being mistreated and through jokes made by frustrated women.
A lot of people get offended by these jokes because they claim that they invalidate the male experience. However, I argue these jokes don’t invalidate the male experience. If anything, men’s harsh societal experiences and expectations, such as being ”the provider,” manly, or emotionless, can be linked back to the patriarchy. The patriarchy has determined that one of the worst things a man can be is feminine; therefore, society punishes men who fail to conform to traditional masculinity. Additionally, these jokes are considered a problem because they generalize the male population, leading to the familiar response of “#NotAllMen.”
Generalization
Every person is different, so generalizing any group of people is an inherently flawed way of thinking. However, when men express hatred toward women as a whole, it often comes from a desire to control or harm them. In contrast, when a woman says, “It’s all men,” she rarely means that every man is inherently degenerate. Rather, she is often expressing frustration over a lack of empathy, or recurring problems for which men are frequently responsible.
Additionally, when women express this sentiment in discourse about violence, people are quick to respond with, “It’s not all men; don’t be scared,” but when statistics and common experiences show that men are more likely to commit violent crimes against women, why should we be angry at a woman for being cautious? When a bear kills a human, everyone understands why people would want to be cautious of all bears; but when a woman wants to be cautious around men, it suddenly becomes a huge problem.
Better together
We live in a world that actively oppresses women, yet many people are afraid to identify as feminists, and support the movement.
Many say that they support women having rights, but believe feminism is no longer necessary. From what they can see, the women around them have already bested them. Others see misandrist commentary and assume that feminism is about making women superior to men rather than achieving equality, causing them to become afraid of the stigma attached to the word “feminist.”
However, the truth is that until the patriarchy is stopped from propagating its seeds of hate, we will need feminism. Therefore, if we want to progress toward a better society for everyone, we need to stop letting misogynistic ideas, such as misandry, distract us from the real problems that divide us.
