For the past few months, my TikTok “For You” Page has been bombarded with videos of daughters dressing up their mothers in their trendiest outfits to the tune of Freaky Friday’s “Take Me Away,” captioned, “Turning my mom into me.”
The videos often follow the same formula. A door-transition reveal starts with mothers on one side of a door in their everyday clothes, then has them re-enter through it wearing their daughters’ fashion. Mothers trade French twists, cardigans, and high-neck tops for baggy jeans, tank tops, styled hair, and a full face of makeup — essentially becoming a more fashionable version of their daughters. The comments are usually a mixed bag. Many people compliment the mothers; others say they hope to look just like them when they get older. Some jokingly ask, “Now turn me into your dad.” At least, I hope they are joking.
But one comment I saw gave me pause: “Why should becoming a mom mean dressing more plainly or giving up the styles that make you feel like yourself?”
It is a fair question. These videos are meant to be playful, but they also point to a larger expectation. As women age — and especially once they become mothers — they are expected to become less visible, less fashionable, and less interested in dressing for themselves.
Why Do We Expect Moms to Tone It Down?
Older men are often praised as “silver foxes,” a label that suggests age can make them more attractive, confident, and interesting. Older women, however, do not receive the same grace. They are often expected to become caretakers first and individuals second, whether they’re cast as the ever-present grandmother, the lonely “cat lady,” or the supposedly cold, career-focused woman.
These stereotypes send a clear message: a woman’s beauty and femininity are only valuable when she is young, desirable, and centered around other people. Once she ages, society often expects her to fade into the background.
Still, this does not mean every older woman dresses more conservatively because she feels pressured to do so. For many, getting older brings a genuine desire to prioritize comfort, ease, and personal taste over dressing for other people’s approval. This is especially true for mothers who may have to prioritize simplicity and ease while wrangling little ones. Changes in the body—such as stiffer joints or drier skin—can make certain clothing feel less appealing, too.
A woman should always be allowed to dress however she sees fit. The issue is that this choice is not made in a vacuum. The male gaze — a feminist concept describing the way women are often viewed and valued through heterosexual male desire — helps explain why aging can feel like such a double standard. Older women are still expected to put effort into their appearance, just like younger women, but only within a narrow window of what is considered attractive and “appropriate.” As a result, older women may choose more muted colors, more coverage, or clothing that feels safer for their age group to avoid being judged as vain or as trying too hard. Yet, these same women are also being pressured, more than ever, to dye their hair or to even go as far as getting plastic surgery to avoid gray hair and wrinkles from showing. Contemporary celebrities show how strongly beauty culture — shaped around being desirable to others, especially men — still pressures women to look young. Cindy Crawford, Jennifer Lawrence, and Amanda Seyfried, for example, have openly discussed cosmetic procedures or injectables. More recently, the rise of GLP-1 drugs has intensified unrealistic weight and beauty standards, contributing to a look that some audiences see as increasingly unattainable.
That is what makes the “Turning my mom into me” trend interesting. It is not necessarily about mothers dressing to be desirable to men. In fact, many of these videos seem to push back against that expectation: mothers are styled by their daughters, cheered on by other women, and encouraged to enjoy fashion as self-expression rather than a performance for male approval.
Challenging the Status Quo
Rather than treating fashion as something women age out of, “Turning My Mom Into Me” gives mothers permission to experiment with it again, alongside the daughters who know them best.
Many of the comments I have seen on these videos praise the mothers’ confidence, not just their outfits or appearance. And the mothers do seem to be having fun with the transformation: after the reveal, many flip their hair, strike poses, and even catwalk for the camera. Are they simply playing it up for an audience? Maybe. But the change in style also appears to bring them real joy.
It reminds me of getting ready with a friend before a night out: the giddy excitement of picking out each other’s outfits, trying different makeup looks and seeing yourself through someone else’s eyes. That shared ritual is a distinctly female form of connection. I recognize a similar joy in these mothers. There is something deeper at work than simply wanting to look good for other people — or succumbing to the male gaze. It is also about looking good for yourself: bringing the version of yourself you want to see to the forefront, so that when you look in the mirror, your most authentic self is looking back.
Maybe, for some moms, this trend is not about trying to become that more fashionable and youthful version of themselves again. Maybe it’s just a part of themselves that never went away.