Imagine this: you wake up at 7 am thinking, “Wow, I’m about to get a head start on my day.” You have time to make a matcha, start some laundry, reply to emails, when suddenly you remember an online exam you had due yesterday that you forgot about.
This was my exact Tuesday morning.
I immediately emailed my professor to maybe in some way get it reopened (I still haven’t heard back). I couldn’t control what had already happened, but I could change the way I handled it.
I took a deep breath, called my mom, and told myself that everything is fixable. After reviewing the syllabus and deciding that if I can’t retake it, I can always drop it so it won’t affect my GPA, I started to think about how else my semester had gone.
I realized this was just the cherry on top of my accumulated procrastination and burnout. I had taken 3 other exams in the past few weeks and received scores way below my usual average. I have maintained a 4.0 GPA my whole college career. What made this cycle any different?
The truth was, this didn’t happen overnight. Somewhere between freshman year and now, I started cutting corners, missing study sessions and joining more clubs. Instead of prioritizing myself as a student first, I became caught up trying to maintain social standing, friendships, and extra commitments. While these are all important to me. There has to be a way to do both.
My Academic Reset
I decided I needed a full refresh on how I was approaching my classes, self-care, and extracurriculars. So I created a plan to follow for one week to see how much I could improve my motivation, success, and mental health.
It goes a little something like this:
- Get the hard things over with first
My procrastination stemmed from the fact that I knew the work I had to do was hard, unenjoyable, and time-consuming. So I did it all at the very last second. Not only was this making me stressed for longer, but it was also causing tasks to slip my mind. This week, I will do the hard things first instead of putting them off.
- Take another look at my yearly/semester goals
Because I feel so out of place right now, I think the perfect inspiration may just be my past self. What expectations did I set for myself? What did I want to accomplish? Perhaps looking back at these will help me find where I went astray.
- Make time for self-care and the habits I love
I think part of the reason I’m stuck in an endless cycle of procrastination and burnout is that the only thing I am prioritizing is school. Now don’t get me wrong…that is important, but skipping breakfast to finish a lab report or trying to make an extra org meeting fit into my busy schedule may not be helping me in the long run.
- Draw boundaries and set priorities
The priorities part basically goes with self-care, but essentially, I need to stop saying yes. The same way I try to put more on myself, I let others do the same. Of course, this isn’t the intent of others; I simply just don’t set a boundary for myself. For example, part of the reason I missed my exam is that I told myself I would do it after hanging out with a friend the whole day. I should have just done it earlier in the week or before the hangout instead of counting on the absolute last second to work out.
- Take full advantage of my resources
Ultimately, I knew that this academic glow-up was going to require backup. Usually I study by myself and try to figure out problems on my own. But isn’t that what got me here in the first place? Between all the student fees and study centers on campus, I’m a little disappointed I wasn’t using them already.
- Give myself grace
This one may be the most important, as I forget that ultimately, I am trying my best. It’s hard to see growth when one is constantly striving for more. A little gratitude may be just the thing to shift my mindset
For the next week, I would try to implement these rules into my everyday routines.
Monday: Realization
Today was filled with lots of stress. Having the thought of failing a class in the back of one’s mind is NOT for the weak. However, no matter what was going on in my mind, the day went on as usual. I had work at the writing center, lunch with my best friend, and class. My plan was to go home right after work, but then I remembered that there was chemistry tutoring going on for one more hour after my shift. I had only ever gone once before, but I desperately needed homework help. I could’ve gone home early and planned to finish my homework at 11 pm on Sunday night, but I decided to get the hard things done first.
The tutoring session made me feel instantly better; I finished half the assignment and reinforced my understanding of some new topics. I finished all of that in less than an hour. Why on earth was I stressing myself out about it for the WHOLE week? Asking for help sometimes feels embarrassing since I feel like I should be ‘prepared’ or ‘on track’, but a majority of the time, I’m just trying to stay afloat. My tutor never made me feel embarrassed or stupid; I actually feel a lot more confident, and now it’s secured a permanent spot on my Tuesday itinerary.
Tuesday: Remembering what success means
Tuesday felt better. I fully understood that whatever response or result I was going to receive about this exam was not in my control. I had work, some org meetings, and the annual Terry Banquet (a mandatory banquet for my scholarship). I was sort of dreading it, honestly. Each year we meet and network with alumni, college deans, and other Terry scholars; however, I knew I would be feeling major imposter syndrome in that room. What did I have to add to the conversation? Was what I’ve accomplished in my years here at TXST enough to belong there?
Between these spiraling thoughts, I told myself that either way, there would be a charcuterie board there, so that would make up for it.
But honestly, I didn’t prepare by looking at the faculty or alumni that were going to be there. I didn’t even expect to network. I just saw it as something to get over with.
However, I walked away that night so grateful for a fresh perspective. Somehow, networking found me even though I didn’t intend it to. I talked to a professional Chemist from Austin who guided me on getting research opportunities. I talked with a director of fine arts and communication about tips and tricks for doing press at places like SXSW. I engaged in meaningful conversation with a woman who reminded me how far a degree in English could get me.
I didn’t seek them out; just by being open and curious, I learned more than I thought I would. Maybe this carefree attitude worked better than I thought.
After mingling, we had dinner and listened to speeches. I’m always stunned when Yvonne Moody, the CEO of the Terry Foundation, reminds the scholars that we belong here. No matter what we may think at any low point during our college career, the foundation sees our potential and determination. In addition, there were 2 more speeches. Both of them reinforced that success meant different things to different people. That failure was an event, not a character trait. That a change in plans could be a new opportunity. Or even that a shift in expectations may lead you exactly where you need to be.
It was exactly what I needed to hear at that moment. It didn’t matter that I didn’t get an internship this summer. It was irrelevant that I did worse than I thought on my first exams. Who cares that I’m trying to get back on track? The reality is that my passion is still there, and I need to give myself grace.
Wednesday: Acclimation
Today is the day before fall break. I only had 2 classes and a BUNCH of homework. Although I was pretty tired and in the middle of emailing my professor, the dean of students, and the chair of the English department about this dang exam, I was still in the front row of my organic chemistry lecture.
Halfway through the lecture, I remembered the other half of the assignment I didn’t complete. I was thinking about how much I would probably struggle doing it alone when he reminded us about office hours after class. I had never been to office hours this whole semester, even though I set a goal to go to them more frequently. I had wanted to form a closer relationship with my professors than I had in the past semesters. Better late than never, I thought, so I spontaneously planned to go to office hours after class.
In the end, I’m really glad I went. My professor explained everything that I missed or was confused about. I was able to finally introduce myself and hold a conversation with him—something I wanted to do all year. I was proud of myself for going out of my comfort zone, using my resources on campus, and taking initiative to put my semester goals back in motion.
Thursday: Giving Myself Grace
After getting to bed early last night (10:30 pm!) I woke up so refreshed. Since today was the start of fall break, I planned on making a weekend trip home. While I believe the habits I was already building into my routine were productive, I also realized how stressed I’ve been, and nothing gets me back on track like being in my hometown.
This semester had been so busy that I had only been back home once before. I used to go home every 2-3 weeks, but it looks like the academic rush got the better of me.
Immediately driving into my hometown, I felt a sense of relief. The country roads, semi-fall breeze, and Phoebe Bridgers playing with the windows down were my perfect idea of a healing weekend.
Later that night, I caught up with my siblings, and we all had a pizza dinner. I watched “Jujutsu Kaisen” with my little brother and quietly wrote my article.
Friday: Self Care
Today I was determined to take full advantage of the day here. I got my brakes and spark plugs replaced (my wallet took a hit…). I also went to my favorite stores like Daiso, Bon Bon Market (a cute little asian market), Cha Community (the BEST boba shop in Central Texas), and washed my car. Even though these were errands, it felt like a Sunday reset and novel, since they are only things I do at home. I was also able to fit in my assignments. One thing I’ve realized is that when I’m on break, I tend to ignore all other responsibilities and make it a really hard first week back for myself. This time, I’m making time for self-care while also drawing boundaries and prioritizing success.
Saturday & Sunday
As my break was coming to an end, I realized just how refreshed I was feeling. Usually on Sundays, I am cramming in all the work I left for the last minute, but all of it had already been completed. No dread, stress, or confusion. This left me so much time to prepare for the next week. I cooked, cleaned, did laundry, and even did a yoga class. I was no longer dreading Monday and was implementing my new study and self-care habits.
New Week, New Me
Moving forward, I’ll keep referencing the semester goals I made to hold myself accountable. I’ll also PLAN PLAN PLAN. Whether that means studying days in advance so I can make it to a friend’s birthday, marking an exam in my calendar, or saying no to last-minute hangouts to prioritize the tasks I set for myself that day, I’m determined to keep my progress from this week going.
Even though this was probably the most stressed I’ve ever been in a week, I believe it taught me some valuable lessons. I can’t control everything, but I can control how I react to it and what I learn from it.
Ultimately, my professor reopened the exam, and I passed with an A!
Academic slumps suck, but it’s never too late to get back on track.