Edited by: Zaineb Sarang
If you look outside, you will see the way the tree branches sway on a windy day; coordinated and unified in their movements. What a beautiful gift from nature. However, each branch is its own and serves a purpose beyond the beauty of synchronized motion.
My window is open, and I’m up late tonight for no particular reason other than I am struggling to sleep. To remedy this, I decided to watch a lengthy YouTube video titled Boring Psychology for Sleep. As I try to doze off, my attention is drawn to the narrator’s words, “at times solitude is conflated with loneliness.”
Solitude can blossom out of loneliness.
Loneliness can pierce through the cracks of solitude.
I know this because of my own lived experiences. Although they clearly intertwine, they are not interchangeable.
I suppose loneliness is not always chosen, but it is usually imposed on a person. Solitude is an active choice; a person wants to disappear. Either society pulls away from you or you withdraw from society.
Being lonely is a feeling ignited when one does not experience a genuine or true connection. Even when surrounded by others, there is no emotional depth, only an enormous distance between them and you. You are different. To seek solitude is a state of being. One wants to be alone and withdrawn. It is often associated with introspection, because knowing oneself is important; why are you so different?
Like the branches, loneliness and solitude can exist similarly and in a shared togetherness. Beneath that, though, they serve different purposes. One emphasizes the importance of others, and the other reminds us of the importance of self.
We waste so much of ourselves trying to force belonging. It is through self-exploration that you will understand what is right for you and who is right for you. Do not neglect your relationships with others, but most importantly, nourish the relationship with yourself.
I wasted a lot of my fundamental years moulding myself into versions I did not like. All because the pressure of blending in outweighed the need for self-discovery. Do not let loneliness fear you into adopting a fake personality. Reframe your time alone as an active search for solitude – and authenticity will follow.