I have to remind myself not to speed-walk to class like I’m training for the Olympics, make sure my jeans aren’t staging an attack on my waist, and pack those tiny white prescription pills that offer a glimmer of hope but instead deliver disappointment when the cramps inevitably crash the party. Ah, the joys of menstruation! And just when you think you’ve got the monthly routine down to a fine art, new symptoms pop up to surprise me, like Endo belly- guess it’s joggers again today! From mentally mapping out the nearest bathroom on campus to turning your belly into a human toastie with a hot water bottle, navigating university life with endometriosis is certainly not the for weak.
I was diagnosed with Endometriosis in the first year I got my period, making me part of the 10% of people this illness affects. Endometriosis is a chronic condition where tissue similar to the lining of the uterus grows elsewhere in the body, and unlike a period, unfortunately, the pain doesn’t follow a monthly schedule. Instead, it keeps us Endo warriors on our toes, from stabbing pains in the belly, bladder and hips to that dreaded, gradual ache in the lower back. Sometimes I’m exhausted before my day or lectures have even begun, and that’s not the worst of it! In lectures, I’m constantly shifting in my seat, discreetly rubbing my belly- which makes me look like I have my hands stuffed down my trousers- or I’m stretching my legs as wide as I can to ease the pressure building in my pelvis. Walking can feel like playing the floor is lava, with every step bringing another jab of pain somewhere. I even catch myself worrying that I look like I’m walking funny. On the worst days, the pain hits so suddenly that I have to kneel in public and curl into a ball until it passes. University life is already unpredictable and stressful enough without dealing with an illness that is so often misunderstood as “just bad period pain.” We Endo girlies deserve better than having to manage the pain alone and fight to be taken seriously. Over time, many of us have found little ways to make life with Endo easier, from our trusty Endo bags to the hacks that help us get through the day, and I’ll be sharing some of my favourites further down!
Outside my studies, things get a lot trickier. Between cancelled plans and feeling like I’m not doing enough to stay active, I’m constantly stuck asking myself, “Am I doing too little or too much?” If I push myself too hard, I risk a flare-up; if I take it easy, and I worry I’m missing out on the quintessential university experience with my girlfriends. So, where’s the balance? First and foremost, I’ve had to learn that my health comes first, a lesson that’s taken years to sink in. But prioritising my health doesn’t mean waving goodbye to fun! Over my undergraduate years and now into my master’s, I’ve discovered that not every pub visit needs to end with a tipsy walk home. Sometimes, I’ll stick to non-alcoholic drinks and enjoy the night without worrying about how I’ll deal with intensified symptoms afterwards. Who knew you could have a social life without a side order of regret?
I’ve also learnt that a walk in the park doesn’t always have to involve much walking. On bad symptom days, I’ll make it as far as a bench and call that a successful outing. And honestly? I think I see more when I’m not concentrating on whether every next step will trigger another cramp or counting my steps for the day. I get to watch the squirrels frantically bury their winter supplies, admire the leaves falling around me, and overhear snippets of strangers’ gossip (purely by accident, of course;)). And since this is Scotland, there’s a very good chance I’ll end up petting five dogs and chatting to their owners before I head home. There’s still so much joy to be found in university life, even when Endometriosis changes the plans. Having friends who understand what you’re dealing with makes all the difference, especially when you realise that friendship extends far beyond pubs and clubs. It’s how I discovered my love for sketching in the park and getting lost in books, or hobbies my friends and I might never have explored if we were always rushing from one plan to the next. I’m still figuring out the balance, and I suspect I always will be. But I’m learning that enjoying university isn’t about saying yes to everything, it’s about finding the things that make you happy, listening to your own body, and remembering that you’re allowed to enjoy life at your own pace. My Endo might occasionally change the itinerary, but thankfully, it doesn’t get to plan the whole trip. I think it’s clear from this little snippet of my life that I have my battles cut out for me, so let me share with you all my endo survival kit.
The Endo girl starter pack and hacks
- Stick-on Heat Pads- I love to think of myself as a lizard in desperate need of a heated lamp. Stick-on heat pads are perfect for soothing those aches when they start to creep in, especially when you are stuck in a lecture and your uterus decides to kick off. Bonus points for keep you cosy during the Scottish winter!
- Energy Drink- Endo fatigue can leave me horizontal most days, so my peach flavoured Red Bull sometimes comes to the rescue. Caffeine can offer a temporary boost, but it is no substitute for rest, and too much can leave you with jitters or disrupted sleep.
- Snacks- Never underestimate a well-stocked snack stash! Dark chocolate, nuts, seeds and avocado provide nutrients like magnesium and health fats, making them great additions to a balanced diet and perfect for their anti-inflammatory effects. Your cravings deserve love too!
- Personal Care- Pads and tampons are the obvious residents, but the real MVPs are the spare underwear, wet wipes and anti-nausea medication. Think of this as your emergency toolkit. Being prepared means one less thing to worry about when your body is already keeping you on your toes.
I’d love to say that after a decade, I’ve mastered my endo, but some days it can still have the upper hand. So, is this the ENDO my life? Not quite. Between the hot water bottles, lecture notes and learning to listen to my body, I’m figuring out that my uni life doesn’t have to look picture perfect to be good living. And honestly? That’s a lesson worth more than any degree.