Finding Mr. Right: How to Know if He’s Right for You

Everyone wants to find their person. Their match. Their best friend. Their soulmate. Especially as a hopeless romantic, it can be difficult to constantly read romance novels, patiently waiting for my own prince charming to sweep me off my feet. I’m sure that many other girls feel the same way. 

What does “Mr. Right” Really Mean?

It can be hard to tell the difference between a guy you like and someone who is actually RIGHT for you. Movies, social media, and the idea of a “perfect relationship” often creates insanely high expectations that many normal people cannot meet. The right guy is not necessarily perfect– it’s about how he treats you and how you feel around him.

be yourself

You should be able to be your entirely true self with your Mr. Right. He should not make you feel as though you need to change your personality, hobbies, appearance, or opinions. Someone who really loves you would love all aspects of your life; someone who criticizes you does not deserve your time. (Believe me; I know.) 

His Actions Match His Words

Anyone can say the “right” things and be courteous toward you; consistency is what really matters. Does he think that planning a date means that he can treat you poorly? Since he pays for you, he doesn’t have to care for you emotionally? He constantly showers you with verbal affection, but never takes initiative with his actions?

The right person should follow through on plans, communicate honestly, and make an effort without you begging for the bare minimum. Clear communication is so detrimental to maintaining a healthy relationship; mixed signals often ruin relationships over time.

You Feel Respected, Safe, and Supported

Setting clear boundaries early on in a relationship is so helpful. It makes him aware of lines that shouldn’t be crossed, while keeping you and well-being safe. 

If he makes harmful or offensive comments in front of you, just imagine what he says or does when you’re not there. You should never feel like you have to be his mother, constantly reminding him of basic social constructs and how he should be treating you. A healthy relationship should feel nurturing. When a woman is with a loving, caring man, she should feel comfortable letting her guard down and allowing herself to be cared for, rather than feeling responsible for taking care of him all the time. 

The Relationship Feels Right, Not Just Exciting

Chemistry, butterflies, and “the honeymoon phase” can be very exciting; don’t get me wrong, but they aren’t the only things that make a relationship work. You should consider whether you share important values, communicate well, or want compatible things. 

After the first few weeks or months, that love should not die down. If it feels that way, you should communicate about how you feel. A relationship should always have that spark, no matter how long it has lasted; there are elderly couples that have more chemistry than some teenagers.

Don’t Forget Yourself Along the Way

There is no rush to get into a relationship. I have heard that my entire life, and it’s correct. Although it’s annoying to hear from your friends who are already in happy relationships, it is true. It may seem like everyone around you is dating, but you never know the quality of those relationships. The right relationship won’t require you to abandon your standards or convince someone to choose you.

Finding Mr. Right starts with knowing that you deserve a love that feels right, too.