On Oct. 10, 2026, during Season 52, Episode 3, of “Saturday Night Live,” third-time host Shane Gillis delivered a “joke” many women are all too familiar with.
He said, “Also, I haven’t been to the gym in so long I didn’t know women just dress like whores now. Look, I’m sorry, there’s no other way to describe it.” Here’s the video of the monologue for those of you who’d like to watch it yourself.
Before this incident, I’ll admit I was familiar with and even fond of Gillis for his sense of humor, even if it did seem questionable at times. I didn’t think much of it because he seemed like a decent person outside of the character he played for the media. Looking back, I allowed myself to overlook his harmful attitude because I found him entertaining.
It’s not so much about Gillis himself as it is the notion of the joke. This joke has been circulated most likely hundreds of times, with a hundred others similar to it, where women are criticized literally no matter what they do. If we go to the gym, we’re trying too hard and we’re only going for male attention. If we don’t go to the gym, we’re lazy and let ourselves go. If we wear tight-fitting clothes, we’re whores. If we wear baggy clothes, we’re frumpy. If we prefer cardio, they call us “cardio bunnies,” the word “bunny” associating us with daintiness and cuteness rather than endurance or strength, while men who prefer cardio are just called runners. If we prefer weightlifting, they call us “muscle mommies,” overly sexualizing a wellness hobby while not nearly as many men who like weightlifting are called “muscle daddies.” We have to be thin, but not too thin. We have to be fit, but not too muscular. We have to have curves, but not be overweight.
I’m tired. Society will scrutinize a woman for living her life because, eventually, something she’s doing doesn’t fit within the standards of said society. The problem reaches further than just harmful comments, where women are subjected to a broader expectation that they should live according to standards imposed on them by others. These standards may include their appearance, their sexuality, their responsibilities at home, or their place in public life.
Furthermore, almost every single woman I know who enjoys going to the gym has a story about being harassed, watched, or made uncomfortable. Or, if not the gym, it happens at the grocery store. In school. On the street.
Men continue to police our bodies, our behavior, and our choices, often without considering the harm their words and actions can cause. And when these attitudes are normalized in everyday conversations, it becomes much easier to dismiss the experiences of the women affected by them.
Whether it’s being catcalled on the street or being humiliated in front of an online audience of millions of people because of what we choose to wear at the gym, women cannot catch a break. Yet, we’re expected to take it and accept these things men say about us because of what society has to say about a woman that speaks up. She’s deluded. She should just shut up. She’s hysteric.
Women have been at the mercy of men for as long as the patriarchy has existed. Women are often expected to remain sexually pure for marriage, yet they can also be judged for lacking sexual experience. Even if a wife works a full-time job and is out of the house for just as long as her husband, she’s expected to clean, cook, take care of the children, and more. According to an FBI report, between 2020 and 2024, participating law enforcement agencies in the United States reported more than 11,000 domestic violence murder victims and 1.1 million additional victims of domestic violence, with nearly 75% of these victims being women. These numbers reflect data reported by participating law enforcement agencies and are not a complete count of domestic violence across the United States.
When will it end? When will women get the chance to live their lives without being harassed, abused, or made the laughingstock for men? Too many men participate in these patterns, and too many others dismiss them as harmless. Even if you ignore men altogether, there’s still a chance you’ll be catcalled on the street. If you go to the gym and you’re wearing an outfit you feel confident in, there’s still a chance a man will see your appearance as an invitation for his attention.
The prevalence of women in spaces they have been historically underrepresented in is exactly what we need. Many women are reluctant to go to the gym because of what some men believe they’re entitled to say to them while they’re working out. Even within SNL, with a historically male-dominated cast, women have accounted for the majority of its breakout stars since the early 2000s. In 2023, women held 46% of managerial roles in the United States, up from 29% in 1980. While there have been some gaps in this progress, the fact that women are making progress matters. But women should not have to earn the right to feel comfortable in a gym, to walk down a street without harassment, or to make choices about their own bodies without being reduced to a punchline. We should not have to prove that we deserve respect by becoming more successful, more modest, more confident, or more accomplished. We should be allowed to exist without constantly being evaluated for it.
So when can women live? Not when every man accepts us and not when every stereotype is finally dead. Women should be able to live now, without having to justify every choice they make along the way.