People just have no decent respect for other people anymore. We use to follow the golden rule of “treating others the way you want to be treated”. From a classroom setting, to a social setting (such as a bar or frat), many people just lack the simple respect for one another. When people make certain decisions you’re supposed to take a moment to reflect on how your behavior might affect others, instead, many people disregard their actions because they feel no shame.
Last weekend I went out to a bar with my friends on a fun Friday night. My friends and I were dancing and vibing to the music. We decided to take a break from dancing to head to the bathroom for a quick break. While we were in the line to use the restroom, this girl intensely shoved my friend out of her way and yelled “MOVE”. When I saw that interaction, I was immediately in shock. I thought to myself, why didn’t the girl just say “excuse me” to my friend? If shame was brought back, then people would realize that their actions actually have consequences.
Within the classroom setting, the amount of times where I have overheard and witnessed my classmates disrespecting the professors is ridiculous. Earlier in my small discussion class the professor is explaining a project that is going to be a huge aspect of the grade. I was trying to actively listen in order to make sure I knew the instructions for the project. Two of my classmates were speaking loudly amongst each other. They were attempting to whisper but poorly failed. The professor kindly asked the two students to please stop the side conversations. One of the students rolled her eyes and sucked her teeth at the teacher. In this exact moment, I felt second hand embarrassment and thought to myself, “How do these girls not feel shame?”.
Shame makes people feel bad about their actions, while allowing for self-reflection. Within the topic of shame, there are two different types: toxic shame and healthy shame. I want people to feel the healthy version of shame, rather than the toxic side. For example within healthy shame, individuals can think to themselves. “Shoot I did something wrong that doesn’t align with my values”. When compared to toxic shame, an individual could say “I am a horrible person”.
In these two different situations, the people who did these rude actions got away with their behavior since there were no aspects of shame that were applied. Think about how the outcomes of these situations would be different if shame was strictly enforced within society. In 2026 (even if the year is almost over) we should bring back healthy shame.
The main purpose of bringing back shame is to enforce social accountability while restoring an individual’s moral compass. Many people view shame as a negative thing, but with the healthy (non-toxic) approach it can help people come together and allow for better and stronger relationships.
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