How many times have you met a college-aged girl who says she has “never had an orgasm?” Probably several. How many men? It is beyond rare to find a man over the age of fourteen who has never orgasmed. The excuses for women range from “I just can’t” to “Ew, that’s gross!” and even to “I thought only guys did that?”
Why is it that society forces women to believe that they can’t experience pleasure the way that men do? The mere idea of sex is a male-dominated field. It’s all about men getting pleasure from their partner. The fact that even some women believe that they can’t have an orgasm is influenced by patriarchal views. There are so many benefits to the female orgasm that many women are unaware of, or they simply don’t know how to have an orgasm.
The benefits
The female orgasm is an otherworldly thing. It relieves stress, improves menstrual cramps, boosts immunity, and even helps prevent heart disease. A male orgasm is similar, but not nearly as powerful. What’s different here is purpose: the purpose of a male orgasm is reproduction — a basic societal need — but a female orgasm is solely for pleasure and to increase quality of life. Because of this, society believes the male orgasm is more important.
When a man climaxes, the hormones released put him to sleep. However, when a woman climaxes, she radiates. Her brain, body, and soul improve, and she is ready for another. Women, unlike men, do not have a refractory period, which means they can have multiple orgasms in a row without stopping, whereas men need anywhere from a few minutes to an entire day before they can climax again.
HOW TO ORGASM: Your Clit is Your Best Friend
Although there is no such thing as a woman who cannot orgasm, many women are unable to climax from vaginal or G-spot stimulation alone. The clitoris, more commonly known as the clit, is a small spot located above the urethra with over 10,000 nerve endings. Even a light touch can trigger a full-body reaction. Because of this, women are much more likely to reach orgasm from clitoral stimulation. One of the reasons that many women do not climax when with a partner is that men don’t understand this concept and often only stimulate the vaginal G-spot instead. Even some women don’t know where their clitoris is. Discovering the power of the clitoris is a crucial step to unlocking your ability to find that sense of female power within yourself.
Don’t Fake an Orgasm
At least 80% of women have admittedly faked an orgasm. This number is likely closer to 95% if we include those who believe they’ve had an orgasm because they don’t know what it feels like or those who don’t want to admit they’ve faked it. Because it is so easy for a woman to fake an orgasm, and women take so much longer to reach that point, it is common for women to fake it when they’re with a man. For women to experience sexual satisfaction when with a man, it’s very important to communicate with your partner. Talk to him—if he does something you like, tell him. If he does something you don’t like, tell him that too. Without this communication, women will never reach a point of equality where an orgasm is expected during sex from both partners.
So, ladies: talk to your partners. Explore your own body. Take time to learn what you like. And remember that pleasure comes from within, as long as your mind is open to receive it.
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