There is absolutely no right way to journal, I learned the hard way trying to figure out what works best for me. When I would read back the words I wrote, I realized my relationship with my journal was really…unhealthy. It became less about writing about my day, and filled with only the worst parts of my day. I think having a journal is extremely helpful in a lot of cases, but it’s definitely important to have a healthy relationship with it!
I’ve noticed that journaling and having a diary is a trend that comes and goes. In the New Year when resolutions are created people flock to their closest stationary store for a cute journal and some nice gel pens, which is what I did one year that led me to where I am today. From bullet journals to Louise Carmen inspired leather journals, it’s a cute hobby with a lot of benefits and serving various needs.Â
My relationship with my journal became very unhealthy, I only started to pick it up when I was sad or angry, and I found myself upset when reading it back, my important memories were clouded by a thunderstorm. I never wrote anything positive that happened to me, I filled the pages with emotions that came from a poor head space. Although it is therapeutic to write in a third space with zero judgment, I found myself also being performative with my writing. Almost as if I was writing it with the impression it was going to be read by someone else, having expectations for something that’s only meant for me.
Then it hit me, this doesn’t have to be the case.
For the latter half of the year, I decided I want to have a healthier relationship with my journal by not only writing about the bad, but the good and everything important to me. I realized the untold stories of my life were just as important and valid as the deep emotions I poured out on my paper.Â
What Changed for me
This last summer, I went on a Contiki trip to Italy. Contiki isn’t super popular in North America but it’s a company that organizes trips for young adults. Before I left, my aunt who went on a Contiki trip in her 20s told me to bring a journal, and record my memories from each day to look back on.Â
I took her advice, and myself over to a dollar store and packed a lined notebook in my luggage with the full intention to diligently write about my experiences as we moved throughout Italy.
The first few days I tried my best to follow through, but there was so much to say and such little spare time that I only managed to write a for a few days on the trip. I figured when I came back, and had more spare time I’d fill in the gaps with a proper journal of my trip.
I revisited this journal and took my pen to paper, trying to recall the memories as if I was still in Italy. It started with the highlights, but then I realized I wouldn’t be remembering the trial and tribulations it took to get there. I didn’t write how tired I was, the steps we endured to reach the monuments, the overpriced Uber to the airport so we wouldn’t miss our flight… I realized it was not my authentic thoughts and memories. I felt like I was writing an “influencers” positive rundown showing all the glamour, and I really didn’t understand why I felt the need to sugar coat a memory that I’m writing for only future me to recall.Â
Once I stopped repressing the full picture, the words flowed out of me, and the story came together with ease. The full picture is never authentically told if you don’t just bite the bullet and take the bad with the good, and the good with the bad.
I started to think of my journal as a friend. I wouldn’t just dump all my problems on my friend all the time, I’d like to share the good things and celebrate accomplishments. To me, it is unhealthy to have such a relationship thats fostered on just the negative, so I took that same philosophy with my journal. I like to keep it real with my friends, and if I can be so honest with the people I love, why can’t I just be honest with myself?Â
I started to contrast my writing between the vacation journal and my personal journal and realized when I write for myself, I just write so much better. I felt like I was taking an easy way out in choosing to keep my journaling singular.Â
Picking up my journal didn’t feel scary anymore and if anything I became more excited to write in it. It helps me verbalize my thoughts and feelings better about all different kinds of events, especially when it’s difficult to do so.Â
Tips for better journalingÂ
There are countless productive ways to use your journal besides my previous method, which was using it to vent. Some use it to track their mood, their assignments, junk journal, scrapbook, and so many other formats of journaling that you really don’t have to keep it singular to just one thing. A part of having a healthier relationship with your journal is trying out different formats of memory keeping and finding out what works for you! The sky is truly the limit.Â
If you find yourself like me and feeling less inclined to journal because it feels brings out the melancholy, there’s various different journal prompts you can find on the internet – I like Pinterest the most — that can help you get more creative in your journaling and diversify it from writing about your day to writing about yourself and possibly create a deeper sense of self.Â
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Additionally, turning your journal into a visual memory sake is a great addition to creating a healthier relationship with journaling. Journaling is whatever you desire, so adding pictures with the stories you tell or creating a college in between the pages relieves the pressure of writing and instead makes it more crafty! Even adding stickers or things you collected throughout your day is a fantastic way to make journaling feel easier.Â
Staying consistent also helps you feel more comfortable writing in your journal. I try to do it as often as possible since consistency creates a routine, and makes it easier with time. It becomes less daunting the more you do it, and you’ll get more of a feel for what works for you and develop your own personal writing style.
With that, a pro of diversifying your journal is getting better at putting your thoughts into words. I found that I had so much to say in my brain, but once I put it on paper it helped me in my personal life to really pick my words and have a much more rounded sense of my emotions since I wasn’t tunnel visioned anymore. Not only does this help personally, but it gives you practice for writing essays and reflection pieces, journalling is a transferable skill!
But most importantly, do what feels right for you. Journaling doesn’t have to be for everyone! Matter of fact, if you absolutely hate it and find it to be more of a chore than an outlet, maybe it isn’t for you and that’s totally ok! There’s no right answer, when it’s you and that paper and its essential to do things for yourself that makes you feel good!