Was anyone else as overwhelmed by freshman orientation as I was? I felt so much pressure to find friends and be in a group by the end of it. But, I already saw the cliques forming. My mom constantly told me “everyone is the new kid, everyone is just as scared, popularity is not a thing, no one finds their people the first week of college.” You go into college thinking you’re going to make so many friends at orientation, in your classes, when you join clubs. Obviously there’s Greek life, but personally, that wasn’t for me. It took me until sophomore year to start finding my people. And when I least expected it. But I love a meet-cute!
Okay so this one can be a hit or miss: Near the end of spring semester freshman year, I had just picked my room for the following school year and later that week, I got a DM from a girl saying she took the other space in the room and we were going to live together. It was scary to live with someone I had never met. But it worked out better than I ever could’ve imagined. Not only did she and I get super close, but I met 2 of my closest friends through her and some other super sweet girls too.Â
Now I got lucky with the roommate, and I mean meeting friends through other friends is a pretty common way. But there are plenty of other ways to make friends. Do you have a campus job? Or even an off campus job? I feel like everyone eventually makes a friend at work. You’re going through everything together. And I mean the bonding over people watching is underrated. Once you break the ice, you can move past the coworker relationship and become real friends.
This one is just purely a happy accident. I was at a party and ended up in the stupidly long bathroom line. The girl next to me complimented my top and started chatting with me. We talked about school, friends, clothes, hometowns, and where we got our tattoos. And yes, even after all that we were still waiting in this line. After a bit, she asked me to exchange Instagrams. As I approved her follow-request, I saw that we had a mutual… my best friend’s girlfriend! They go to Rowan which is 3 plus hours away. It was amazing to find a connection from so far away.Â
Another one of my best friend’s goes to concerts more than anyone I’ve ever met. Like seriously girl, where do you get that money?? Although I have to admit, if I had the funds, you better believe I would too. But sometimes, by the time you get the opportunity to even try to get tickets, they’re sold out. My girl had 4 tickets to see Gracie Abrams but only 3 people were going. Funnily enough she saw this girl who goes to her school post a note on Instagram saying “if anyone has an extra Gracie ticket, please let me know”. I’m not going to lie, she ignored it. But a few days later, this girl posted again. She was really desperate to see Gracie. And I mean, same girl. My friend decided to reply this time. They ended up going to the concert together and having a blast. Their IG posts were so cute! Flash forward to now, 2 years later and they’re great friends!Â
I feel like everybody has those few people who you don’t know, you’ve never spoken to, but somehow you take one step out of your building and they magically pop up out of nowhere. I had one of those. I went to the gym, he was there. I went to the quad, he was sitting across the way. The dining hall? He was a few people ahead of me in line. It was crazy. This went on for all of fall semester of freshman year. When I go home for winter break, he requests to follow me on Instagram. It was getting ridiculous how often I saw him so I approved it. I mean I knew his name, major, and what year he was in at this point so he was barely a stranger. He DM’d me saying “I always see you!” so at least I knew I wasn’t losing my mind. I liked the message and moved on. Spring semester starts and he’s in not 1 but 2 of my classes. We spoke once in our ASL class but I was just so shy. This went on until the spring semester of sophomore year. It didn’t matter where I went or who I was with. On my way to class, heading to my car, parties… I mean this man was everywhere. All by happenstance. One day he DM’d me again after yet another run in at a party. But this time I answered. A cup of coffee later and a friendship began.Â
It’s so funny all the ways you can find people and the ways we can be connected beyond our knowledge. I recently met this guy through a mutual friend and after a couple hours of bonding over our borderline aggressive passion for college basketball, a couple tv show references and an Instagram exchange, he realized that he had heard of me. He told me that his best friend was supposed to room with a girl named Bella but it didn’t work out and they never met. It wasn’t until this moment that he connected the dots and that I was that Bella. It’s crazy to think we probably would’ve met one way or another but even though things went differently than planned, our paths still crossed.Â
I know there’s pressure to find your people and it’s super overwhelming. And I know how lonely it can be until you do. But if you’re out there being the best person you can be, I promise it’ll work out. What goes around comes around so if you put effort into being a kind person, you’ll end up finding your people.