I wake up late in the morning. I put off assignments and research papers until the last minute. I skipped a class already, but at least I have a sweater on. I don’t sleep, and I don’t eat well, but at least I had time to get an iced coffee this morning. I spend money like crazy, and I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing for my exam on Wednesday, but at least I put on jeans today. Fall comes with me thinking my life is together. I put on a sweater and surprisingly, everything feels alright. Do I have to study? Yes. Am I freaking out about working in a research lab? Yes. Do I have a job? No, and that’s becoming a big problem, but at least I feel good.Â
All of a sudden, the weather has changed, and I feel like being a different person. I want a new routine, and I want to wake up early. However, it never lasts more than a few days. At least I felt good about those three days. This is where I get the idea that I don’t know what I’m doing, but at least I’m wearing a sweater. It’s ridiculous that getting a coffee and looking nice makes me feel complete. I may look put together, but I never am. My outfits are my emotional support.Â
When it’s suddenly 50 degrees in the morning, everything feels kind of whimsical. Living in the mountains provides a more beautiful experience when walking to class. Changing leaves and beautiful views are always a plus with a pumpkin spice latte in hand. I also enjoy studying more and even going to the grocery store. I don’t understand why this is, but it’s nice to feel like you’re in a movie.Â
The moral of the story is to tell you that I don’t have it all together, and you don’t have to either. I skipped my class again this morning because I went to bed at 4 am the night before. If I look on the bright side, though, I studied for my exam that’s tomorrow, and I went to my two other classes. It wasn’t the most productive day, but I got done what I felt like needed to be done. My days are never consistent. Some days will be better than others, and that’s okay! Monday could be a wash, but Tuesday could be the day where you get the most done all week! Don’t be so hard on yourself. I never do everything I want to do in a day, but I think about everything I want to do for the day while I’m getting ready, and at least I look good. That has to count for something!