“Sorry, I’ve just been so busy.”
It might be one of the most common phrases in college.
You ask your friend to hang out, and they have class. You suggest another day, and they have a club meeting. You try the weekend, but they have work, an event, an assignment, or plans with someone else.
And suddenly, making plans with your own friends feels like scheduling a business meeting.
College has somehow turned being busy into its own competition. Everyone has somewhere to be, something to finish, or another commitment waiting for them. We compare schedules without even realizing it.
“She’s taking 18 units.”
“He has three clubs.”
“She’s doing an internship.”
“They’re on an executive board.”
It can feel like the busier you are, the more successful you must be.
But somewhere between our packed calendars and endless notifications, friendships can start to get lost.
We all know the conversation:
“We need to hang out soon!”
“YES, definitely.”
“Next week?”
“I’m free Tuesday!”
“Wait, I have something Tuesday. What about Thursday?”
“Can’t, I have a meeting.”
And then two weeks pass.
It’s not necessarily because you don’t care about each other. Sometimes, life is genuinely busy. College comes with classes, jobs, organizations, internships, family responsibilities and everything else we’re trying to balance.
But friendship requires time, and time is usually the first thing we sacrifice.
We can have dozens of people on our phones and still struggle to find one person to eat dinner with.
Being busy isn’t a bad thing. Having goals, responsibilities and things you’re passionate about is part of college.
But constantly being busy can make us feel like we’re accomplishing something simply because our calendars are full.
Sometimes we need to stop treating free time like wasted time.
Making plans with a friend isn’t taking time away from your responsibilities. Sometimes, it’s part of taking care of yourself.
Maybe we don’t need another meeting.
Maybe we need to grab coffee.
Maybe we need to get some air outside in between classes.
Maybe we need to call the friend we’ve been saying we’ll call for the past month.
It’s easy to maintain friendships digitally. We send TikToks, react to Instagram stories and text “we need to hang out” without actually making it happen.
But a friendship can’t always survive on notifications.
Sometimes connecting means making the effort to put the phone down and actually be together, even if it’s only for an hour.
So maybe we should stop competing over who is the busiest and start making room for the people who make college feel a little less overwhelming.
Because at the end of the semester, we probably won’t remember every meeting we attended.
But we might remember the random Tuesday night we spent laughing with our friends.