Let’s be honest: back in 2010, while our parents thought we were just playing with dolls, Gen 1
Monster High was low-key forming the blueprint of our entire personalities. If you are between
the ages of 18 and 24, you definitely spent your preteen years screaming the theme song,
collecting skull shaped brushes, and arguing over whether Clawdeen or Draculaura had the
better outfit.
Fast Forward to today, and we are all suffering through real-world horrors like tuition costs,
group projects, and ghoulish 8 a.m. lectures. Since we are all collectively trying to survive higher
education, we decided to look back at the ghouls who shaped us and figure out exactly what
college major they would be stress-crying over during finals week.
Frankie Stein: Biomedical Engineering
Frankie’s entire life is literally held together by stitches and hope, so Biomedical
Engineering is the only logical choice. She is definitely the student who accidently blows a fuse
in the science lab because she got too excited about a group project, and has a 24/7 pass to the
chem lab on campus. Her lab reports are 40 pages long, and she definitely runs the campus
“Women in STEM” club. She always has the most sources cited in every paper and study she
does. In fact, she is probably asking the professor if she can use herself as her primary source
for the anatomy midterm.
Draculaura: Psychology & Child Development
Draculaura is the ultimate empath of the group. She’s bubbly, deeply sensitive, fiercely
loyal, and a bit of a dramatic, hopeless romantic. A double major in Psychology and Child
Development fits her perfectly. Let’s not forget her resume: she spent years babysitting
Clawdeen’s chaotic, feral pack of younger wolf siblings, so managing wild human toddlers or
unpacking complex monster psyches is light work for her. She is the campus “mom friend” who
always has tissues, emergency gossip sessions, snacks for friends with food allergies, an
emergency bag for the girlies, and vegan cupcakes ready for anyone having a breakdown. Right
now, she’s probably crying in the library because a case study she read for her childhood
developmental psychology class was “just too sad.”
Clawdeen Wolf: Double Major in Fashion Design & Entrepreneurial Studies
Clawdeen isn’t just trying to get a degree; she is trying to launch a global fashion empire
on her own terms. Clawdeen is the student whose dorm room is an absolute safety hazard of
rogue pins, fake fur, rolls of fabric, and sketchbooks. She arguably lives in a room by herself and
has mannequins in her room and in the living room that she forgets are there in the middle of
the night when she needs a glass of water. She survives entirely on iced espresso, and her
sewing machine is almost 100% running loudly at 3 a.m., much to her ghoulmates’ absolute
despair. If anything, she’s running a highly successful, slightly illegal, fashion boutique out of her
dorm closet to fund her fabric obsession.
Cleo de Nile: Public Relations & Business Administration (CEO Track)
Cleo didn’t come to college to learn, she came to rule. Since “being a Pharaoh” isn’t an
accredited degree path, she settled for Public Relations and Business Administration,
specifically targeting Strategic Management. Cleo is a master of spin, mostly because she spent
centuries managing the image of her royal family. She isn’t her to do customer service, she’s
here to be the CEO who calls the shots. She is also the worst group project leader because she
delegates 100% of the work to her “servants” (her group mates), forces everyone to sign an
NDA, and then expertly takes credit for the A+ during the presentation. She definitely is
Instagram and Tiktok famous, and gets PR all the time, but right now, she’s probably pitching
her student startup to venture capitalists while aggressively ignoring her professor’s emails
about attendance.
Lagoona Blue: Marine Biology & Environmental Science
Lagoona is that incredibly chill student who shows up to an 8:00 A.M. lecture wet from a
morning swim, wearing flip-flops in November. She is a Marine Biology major who spends more
time volunteering at the local wetlands than doing actual homework. She will absolutely cry if
she sees you throwing a plastic water bottle in the regular trash bin, and our salty sea girl is
absolutely a student athlete and is on a swim team and a rec surf team. Right now, she’s
currently organizing a campus-wide protest against the university’s lake water quality.
Ghoulia Yelps: Data Science and Mathematics
Ghoulia is the sweetest genius on campus and the only person in the entire student
body who actually understands the syllabus. As a Data Science major, she is essentially
running the university’s IT department behind the scenes for free because the actual staff is
completely incompetent. While she speaks exclusively in quiet groans and deadpan stares, she
is secretly the nicest person alive—she will happily stay up until 4:00 A.M. to tutor you through a
math crisis, as long as you pay her back in comic books or hot sauce. She is everyone’s favorite
Teaching Assistant (TA) because her study guides are literal works of art that guarantee a
passing grade. Coding a highly complex algorithm that predicts exactly when the campus
shuttle will be late, just so her friends don’t have to wait in the rain is precisely the thing she
would be doing at 1 am on a sunday.