As I go through my last year working in Residence Life, I think a reflection is necessary. If you talk to a Resident Advisor (RA), or now a Community Engagement Mentor (CEM)/ Residential Support Leader (RSL), they will tell you that it is a lot of work. They’re right, it is a lot of work, but that does not mean that the benefits aren’t rewarding.Â
I became an RA during my Sophomore year of my undergraduate career. I had submitted the application 15 minutes before it was due (really cutting it close, I know!) My time management my freshman year wasn’t the best. I kept pushing off the application after already starting it, and then that same night I was going to submit it, all of my progress had been lost. I had to really focus during the last 40 minutes of the night, submitting it at 11:45 p.m. I was convinced I wasn’t going to get it, and I was probably going to drop out if I didn’t get apartment housing either.Â
Lesson: Don’t save things until the last minute and keep a copy of your applications in at least two places (and in order for things to work out for me, I just have to have faith.)
A couple weeks later, I got the email to set up an interview and I was so happy to have made my way past the application stage. I remember texting my mom immediately after I made the interview appointment. There was an interview I didn’t pass earlier that year, and I had to reflect on what went wrong and what I could have done better. I knew I really needed this opportunity or else I would have had to drop out of school, so when I showed up to my interview, I stood up straight, answered all of the questions to the best of my ability, and expressed my interest in being in the same hall that I lived in my Freshman year. I still left the interview feeling like I messed up, but I knew I did the best I could.
Lesson: Even if you did well enough on the interview to be accepted into the position, refine those interview skills.
Two months later, I got the acceptance letter! I reached out to my RA and asked her what the position is like. I remember her telling me that I will get zero sleep, and that I should appreciate the sleep I am getting at that moment. But then, I ended up working with her that following year and getting the exact same amount of sleep and possibly even more. Sophomore year really taught me about boundaries that I didn’t know I wanted until I would hang out with the RAs I got close with. They would have late night study nights but I didn’t (and still don’t!) drink caffeine, so I truly did need sleep for my 9 a.m. classes. As much as I got FOMO, I knew what I needed to do for my health.
Lesson: Set those boundaries! If your friends truly care for you, they will accept those boundaries and not judge you for it.
Now as I go through my last year, I realize how much I have improved on my time management, boundaries, and interview skills. ResLife has given me friendships that I know will last a lifetime and I am forever grateful. I got to learn how to manage female friendships because that was something I felt like I have struggled with due to a bad friendship breakup my senior year of high school. Although that fear lingers, the boundaries I have set with my friends have helped me cope and realize that not every friendship is like the ones I’ve had. I was even able to develop a connection with the people I worked with, knowing that we went through difficult times as RAs together.
Now that the roles have changed and the title is no longer “RA” but “Community Engagement Mentor and Residential Support leader”, ResLife taught me that change is inevitable, whether we accept it or not. I have gained a love for supporting my community as a Latina in a Predominantly White Institution. As a CEM, I love talking to my residents and finding out their interests and goals in life and I love being able to help them the best I can.
Lesson: Continue helping my community by becoming an immigration attorney and carry the lessons I learned in ResLife with me.