Recently, one of my best friends asked me on the train whether I think I’m “girl pretty” or “guy pretty.” I’d never stopped to wonder what the difference was between the two. After deliberating for a while, I decided that I was “girl pretty.” I thought the way I dressed, talked, did my makeup, and carried myself appealed to the more feminine side of things. After making up my mind, I began to ponder how different “guy pretty” and “girl pretty” really are. Beauty is subjective, but why is it so divided by gender, of all things?
Female celebrities that I thought were the most beautiful women on earth were considered boring or basic-looking to most men I knew. Famous personalities with a big male audience, like Livvy Dunne and Sydney Sweeney, were being completely disregarded by female audiences. A consistent factor that I’ve seen among these types of influencers are their similarities. They often have the same fashion sense, tan skin, blonde hair, and are often big-chested and very skinny, almost recreating the old stereotype of “the girl next door”. Without realizing it, men often look for girls who blend in, rather than girls who have unique styles or loud personalities. Most men that I’ve met use words like “hot” and “pretty,” which describe the kind of woman they are attracted to. Women, on the other hand, use “beautiful” and “cool” as the qualities they admire.
Who are you actually getting ready for when you get up in the morning? The stereotype that women “dress for men” can actually be true in some cases. Instead of wearing something stylish purely for yourself or changing your clothes to match your friends, are you dressing for the possibility of meeting the love of your life that day? Fashion trends can also be completely tailored to gender. Things like polo tops and quarter-zips have taken over men’s fashion purely because of their appeal to women. Female fashion trends, like milkmaid dresses, have been considered only for the male gaze because of their low necklines and cinching shape.
One of the biggest differences between the two could be attraction versus aesthetic. Women often see other women, no matter their sexuality, and appreciate their fashion sense, a chic haircut, or a unique makeup look. Men, on the other hand, are more focused on whether the outfit is flattering or attractive. They don’t see the details or the labor of a trendy hairdo or a color-coordinated outfit. Even things like your nail or eyebrow shape are noticed by women, but often go completely over a man’s head.
Girl pretty” and “boy pretty” isn’t only about which gender is more attracted to you; it’s the beauty standards that you fit within. Men often say, “I prefer girls without makeup”, which can be true, but for the most part, every woman they are describing is wearing some kind of makeup, never a bare face.
Maybe the biggest dilemma with deciding if you’re “girl pretty” or “guy pretty” is assuming that you have to be one at all. When I first heard this question, I immediately started sorting myself between the two categories. My makeup and clothes felt “girl pretty,” but who decided what that really meant? I’ve focused my attention less on the person being looked at and more on the person doing the looking. Social media often spirals our ideas and preconceived notions out of control, and this is a great example of that. Simply sorting ourselves into a feminine and masculine box is just as restrictive as being judged for those qualities. This leaves the blank space between the feminine and the masculine forgotten when it comes to attraction or appreciation of a woman’s appearance. This might be why two people can look at the exact same woman and have completely different reactions. Beauty may be subjective, but so is the way we’ve learned to look at it.