“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.”
In the 1940s, a phenomenon called the “desire path” arose to help urban engineers and transportation planners. The concept of a “desire path” quickly became the basis for how famous cities such as New York and Paris built infrastructure to accommodate human preferences. A desire path is quite literally what it sounds like. Humans build certain paths out of preference or convenience, treading unmarked and unplanned territories. Desire paths are created at random and followed by others, creating a common path everyone follows. What’s special about desire paths is they are not always followed because everyone’s preference is different. Rather, some will create their own.
Lately, I’ve found myself on a theoretical desire path of uncertainty, which I did not plan. I’ve managed to go through some of the most drastic changes in my life in just a couple of months. I am not scared of change; I quite like it in retrospect. However, it makes me uncomfortable, like weeds wrapping around my foot that I must brush off as I tread my path. It is hard to confront who I was at the start of my desire path and who I am now. Those two versions of me are not the same, and I often miss who I was at the beginning. I was naive and comfortable, with barely any complaints or concerns. And no, there is nothing for me to complain about now. But I am no longer new to my path, and from time to time, still feel the soreness left by all the bumpy ground I’ve covered.
Looking at my life, as I’m starting to get older, I find that I have always followed my desired path. I attribute much of that part of my character to being an only child and being left to my own devices. As a child, I was always curious about everything and never felt limited in what I wanted to be when I grew up or what hobbies I could pick up. With no company, I had imaginary friends and resonated with girls with a lonely and quiet demeanor. I have carried all of these traits (except my imaginary friends..rip Mr. Potato and Honey) with me to early adulthood. I’m still quiet, shy and lonely by nature; I crochet, read, and just recently started learning the nunchaku! Hobbies ground me to the soil I chart and help me enjoy my journey. Whenever it’s possible, I like to lie in my desire path for a while and take a pause and soak up how far I’ve come.
I look at how many deviations I’ve taken, and yet, I’ve managed to get back on track. What’s interesting, though, is that those exact strays from my desire path were always part of it. I have lost my direction in relationships—platonic and romantic. I have stayed stagnant on those deviations for years until I had the courage to resume. I have tripped, fell, ran, skipped, and waltzed all through that uncharted land. I continue to, and sometimes that scares me; I don’t know what pace I will be at tomorrow, in a week, a few months, let alone in the next five years. It is entirely up to me because it is my desire path: the path I carve out for myself, no matter the pace.
It is comforting to know that the path you choose will be uncomfortable. You will have to make decisions that feel like you are spinning out of control and cannot find your way forward. The path will not be paved for you. But we will all eventually create a path whether we like it or not. Making it the path you desire, will be the ultimate test. Anyone can have a path, but is it the one you desire? Is it the one that calls to you regardless of how difficult it will be to take? These are the things I’ve been asking myself to ensure that no matter what my circumstances look like now, I will be staying true to who I am and have always been.