“Take care of your skin, Allie. Or you’ll look like this in your forties too,” my mother tells me one morning. She’s staring at her reflection in the mirror and pointing, frustrated, at the creases in her forehead and the sunspots that line the high points of her face. She curses her younger self for not wearing sunscreen every day, for frowning too much. Now, to reverse her former “negligence,” she ritualistically applies a multitude of facial creams and sleeps wearing anti-wrinkle patches every night.Â
I’m always confused and upset when she says things like this. I see absolutely nothing wrong with looking like my mother someday. I think she is, and will always be, extraordinarily beautiful.Â
“Can you check the back of my head for grays?” she asks me. She seems almost nervous. Each new silver strand that emerges near her temples leaves her more discouraged. Without the periodic assistance of box dyes, her confidence plunders.
My mother’s insecurities are common, created and reinforced in women of every age by modern beauty standards and trends.Â
This anti-aging mentality is especially (and ironically) prevalent among young women. The goal of looking “forever young” dominates beauty objectives. Wearing sunscreen daily and going overboard on preventative skincare — while healthy practices on paper — reveal a deeply-rooted anxiety surrounding the “unfashionable” aesthetic of aging. The intention behind the application of these products now goes far beyond preventing skin cancer or maintaining basic skin barrier health; oftentimes, it’s all about appearances. Â
Why is it that perceived beauty diminishes with age? Why are modern beauty products constantly being invented and advertised to combat such a natural, inevitable, and ubiquitous process as aging? Is it all a corporate ploy, with beauty companies capitalizing on insecurities they themselves create? Is it more so a result of recent cultural developments like social media, photo filters, and excessive consumerism? Or is it even deeper than that? Are insecurities about aging yet another manifestation of internalized misogynistic views that have been oppressing women for centuries?Â
My take is that it’s all of the above.
Too many people forget that aging is a privilege, one that many people around the world will never fully experience. We can’t take time for granted, nor resent its physical manifestations on our own bodies.Â
We as a society would fare far better if we reprioritized wisdom over appearances. Getting older is something to celebrate. Age is a sign of experience, something we all chase and accumulate. And at the end of the day, there’s so much more to life than worrying about what we look like. There’s endless beauty in a life well-lived.