YOU SEEM SO COMFORTABLE FOR A GIRL WHO ONCE FELT LIKE A STRANGER

There is a strange pressure that comes with being a college student: you are supposed to be having the time of your life. Not just living it. Having it. You are supposed to be making memories. All. The. Time.

“Go to the party.”
“Join the club.”
“Make your ‘college friends.’”
“Go travel.”
“Take pictures.”
“Say yes to everything. Why? Well, because the moment won’t come back, silly.”

And somehow, while doing all of that, you are also supposed to get good grades, figure out your career, do your interviews, sleep eight hours, exercise, and remember to eat something other than chicken tenders and fries.

Sometimes I wonder if we’ve turned friendship into another item on the college checklist. Something in me whispers that real connection isn’t supposed to work that way. It just happens.

Sometimes it’s the person you sit next to in class who starts saving you a seat. Sometimes it’s the person you keep running into at Moffitt until eventually you ask, “Can I sit with you?” Sometimes, it’s a 20-minute walk back from class with someone you barely knew that morning. Sometimes, it’s the girl you happen to have a matching keychain with.

Maybe the real connection is what turns your “sometimes” into “always.” It happens quietly, almost without you noticing, until all those little moments begin knitting themselves into something that feels like belonging. You collect enough moments where you feel a little less like a stranger, and eventually, you realize you have a place here.

College can be lonely, even or especially, when you are surrounded by thousands of people. I think we need to stop treating that loneliness like a personal failure.

You don’t have to become the loudest person in the room. You don’t have to attend every event. You don’t have to have your best friends figured out by your first semester, or even your last. You don’t have to say yes when you are tired.

Maybe start smaller.

Say hi. Sit with someone new. Ask them to get coffee. Stay five minutes longer after the meeting. Take the longer walk back from class. Send the text. Show up again.

You might not find your people immediately. But you might find a moment that makes you glad you came.

I started saying yes to little things and putting myself out there a little more last semester. I learned my social battery limits. I learned that rejection doesn’t hurt that much. And, perhaps most importantly, I realized I don’t need to find “my people” all at once. All I need to do is keep showing up, cherish the people I have right now, and let the little moments accumulate. That’s my college life.

• appreciate every moment
• beginning of the semester
• College Friendship
• college memories
• Just Say Yes
• UC Berkeley