I’m twenty years old and still play in the waves. Just three weeks ago I was at Lake Michigan with my family, and it was the perfect beach day. Sunny, warm, with a cool breeze and the constant crashing of unsalted waves into the soft shore. I spent most of our visit body surfing next to a pair of siblings, who looked to be about seven. Not quite what is expected of me at my age, but it’s what I enjoy! I have fun on my own terms.
One of the most recent microtrends online, has been “whimsy-maxxing”. Often, it’s accompanied with a specific aesthetic, of adding bows, lace, stickers, and plastic gemstones to everyday objects like single use iced coffee containers. And I am not opposed! In this era of conservative minimalism, and the “clean-girl” look, I am absolutely delighted to see some color again, and the encouragement of individuality.
However, I am concerned that the trend has rapidly homogenized. When “whimsy” gets a color palate, its not really whimsy anymore, is it?
I’m not here to bash people for following trends— this has certainly been my favorite one in a while. Like what you like! I for one am really enjoying this Y2K comeback, especially the brown and teal color combos. But are there other ways to be whimsical that maybe we don’t see on our TikTok feed?
The official definition of whimsy is to act upon a ones whims— not really to act impulsively, which I excel at, but to act on your desires without worry of behaving in accordance with social norms! Such as a twenty year old swimming freely, doing handstands, and digging holes in Lake Michigan’s sand? Certainly not what you’d expect, and I did get some strange looks. But it’s not a particularly radical act either. The actions that bring my life the most joy tend to be deceptively simple ones. Going for a solo walk at my state park, I decided to take an unfamiliar park and stumbled upon a new playground that the local Eagle Scout troop had designed and built! In the middle of the woods!! And then of course I had to climb on it! So cool.
I’m not providing my own examples to prescribe you what “actual” whimsy looks like. It’s just what I like to do. One of my friends will routinely stop in the middle of the sidewalk to save an injured bug; it’s how we first met! Another keeps grenadine in their purse so they can make Shirley Temples wherever they go. Do whatever sparks your joy.
Advice
My #1 tip for listening to your whims is to unplug. We are ALL addicted to our phones. I’m not sure if I’ll ever be able to give up TikTok because of the amazing fan edits I have saved. But we as humans are social creatures, and are biologically wired to want to conform for safety. Social media is constantly filling our brains with Do’s and Don’ts. It’s easier to find your own voice when you aren’t constantly listening to someone else’s.
#2: Surround yourself with people who like you for you. I don’t have to perform for my friends, I can just have a good time. And I can be honest, even when we disagree.
The part 2 to this tip is also practicing being alone. Being off of social media can be hard, and so can being physically alone. I’m in my first week of a study abroad experience and I am doing EVERYTHING alone. It is SOOO uncomfortable. But I’m pushing through that discomfort and still doing the things that I like, such as going for walks on the beach and attending a movie screening. By being honest with myself about what I like to do, I should meet people who feel the same. Friends I don’t have to perform with.
#3: Clamp down on your own judgements of other people. I do it, you do it. We all do it! It’s so hard to stop! But so often, our worst fears are our own projections of what we think about people. Now, I don’t know how scientifically accurate this is, but I read somewhere that our first automatic thought is what we are trained to think by society (peers, community, etc.). And our follow up thought is what we actually think. Oftentimes that second thought is kinder, more understanding. Open up to that second thought. Nurture it. Neuroplasticity is our brain’s ability to change neural pathways over time with repeated use. We can literally train ourselves to think kinder thoughts— about others, and about ourselves.
Hopefully this encourages you to lean more into joy as fall begins and there are opportunities for leaf piles, pumpkin carving, and baking delicious cookies. Much love to you all!