Think of some of the most iconic movie characters: Harry Potter, Katniss Everdeen, Batman. The similarities between them: none of these characters stand alone in their movies. Ron and Hermione, Peeta and Rue, Robin and Alfred. Even characters who seem like they can take on the world have people around them to make their stories easier. These side characters don’t exist just to move the plot along; they challenge the main character by offering support, hard conversations, and helping them find themselves when they lose sight.Â
This isn’t so different from our reality. We all have our own story, and whether we realize it or not, the people around us become part of the plot. You are the main character of your own life; you’ve been casted indefinitely. Your friends, roommates, classmates, family members and even the random people you meet for all of five minutes can leave an impact on your story. No role is unintentional: every person whose path crosses yours moves the story along.Â
Finding your people is really about figuring out who you want in your supporting cast. The only guarantee in your story is yourself. Not everyone is going to fit into your narrative, and that’s okay. The way to create a good storyline is to give support towards the main character. The goal is not to collect as many people as possible, but to surround yourself with people who make you feel like the best version of yourself. People who make all your wins feel like a celebration. People who don’t let you hold the weight of heavy events by yourself. People who can make you laugh when you have had the worst day. The people who feel like sunshine.Â
Sometimes we underestimate the power of a strong supporting cast until the plot gets more difficult. I think everyone, myself included, can think back to a time where life became a little darker than usual. Although we may not have outwardly asked for support, or even recognized we needed it, our people showed up. For me it came in waves of flowers, check-ins throughout the day, and people who were willing to sit with me even when I did not have much to say. I couldn’t sit here and write this article without mentioning how incredible my people have been to me. Sometimes, supporting someone does not mean having the perfect advice. The people who care about you do not always need to know how to fix the plot. Sometimes, they just need to stay for the scene.
But, there is an important distinction in casting your story: not every supporting character is actually good for the story. Unfortunately, because our stories unfold in real life rather than on a screen, not everyone who enters them is meant to become a pivotal character. There are people who can make your biggest accomplishments feel small, turn your excitement into competition, or make you feel like you need to apologize for being proud of yourself. And sometimes, that can be harder to recognize than obvious conflict. There is a certain kind of strength that comes from being surrounded by people who genuinely want to see you at your best. They do not feel threatened by your accomplishments, they make them bigger. Those are the people that get to be in your story, not those who make you feel small.Â
Finding your people comes with one important reminder: you cannot have a village without being a villager. We all want friends who show up for us, human connection is the baseline of all we seek as people. But showing up cannot be one-sided. The reason the main characters in our favorite stories have such memorable supporting casts is because they are usually good supporting characters, too. The best friendships are not built around score keeping, they are built on the understanding that sometimes you get to be the main character, and sometimes your job is to meet your friend where they’re at. You cannot ask people to be your village while refusing to be part of theirs.
Maybe that is what makes a good supporting cast so important. They don’t rewrite the narrative or change the scene, they just make it easier to live through. Some characters will stay for the entire movie while some will only appear for one scene. You may even find that the people you least expect become the ones who leave the biggest mark on your story.
At the end of the day, you are still the main character of your own story. But no great story is made up of one character alone. So find the people who make you laugh until you cry, who celebrate you and the many joys you’re compiled of, who sit with you through the hard scenes, and most importantly, who make you yourself. And just as importantly, be that person for someone else. Because, the best stories aren’t based on having the largest cast; they’re about having the right people in the scenes that matter.