I have been journaling since I could hold a pen. What started out as gibberish in a Hello Kitty notebook has turned into my very own journaling system. Getting here wasn’t as simple as it sounds. I’ve gone through multiple phases of not writing in my journal for months or even close to a year. I’ve gone through multiple phases where I didn’t finish a journal because it wasn’t pretty enough or put together enough. I’ve thrown journals out and ripped pages up. Journaling was clearly not always my friend. So, here are some of the rules I live by that helped me build my relationship with journaling:
1. Stop performing
No one is reading this journal except me. Sometimes, I probably won’t even reread my journal. So why was I consistently leaving things out or changing the way I wrote things as if it would be presented to the world? When I let go of my performative writing and just wrote whatever came to mind, it was much easier to keep writing.
2. You do not have to be perfect
My journal may have three pages filled with long, detailed summaries of how I’m feeling one day and then the next page is half a grocery list and a bunch of doodles. Yes, making pretty pages is fun, but not every page has to look like that. When I stopped feeling like I had to be perfect every time I picked up my journal, I picked it up a lot more.
3. Don’t make journaling another obligation
Some days, writing doesn’t come easily to me. Other days, I can write 45 pages in one sitting. I write based on my mood. If I’m motivated, inspired or simply need to get some things out of my brain, I’ll pick up my journal. Sometimes, I can go without that feeling for weeks or months at a time. One of my old journals has a three-month gap because I simply didn’t feel like writing. But when you don’t force yourself to “write for 10 minutes a day,” it’s easier to come back to your journal and actually have something to say.
4. Let your journal be everything
My whole life is organized into categories, classes and calendars. My journal is the one thing that’s not. My journal is the place where my whole life comes together in one book. Writing down ideas for an article? Going in my journal. Having a really long day and need to rant? Going in my journal. Have a physical ticket from the Harry Styles concert? Taping it into my journal. There is no right or wrong thing to put in that book for me, and that’s what makes it so special.
My relationship with journaling, although toxic sometimes, has helped me grow into the person I am today. It’s my favorite way to physically document my life while also keeping myself sane in the present. If you want to get started, here is my favorite journal of all time (I have completed three of them). Add some personalized stickers to the front, and just start writing!