If you have spent any time on social media in the past few years, you have probably noticed that a lot of terms describing “girls” have popped up. I have compiled a list, and I am here to let you know that a lot of them are a lot more worrying than they seem.
Girl Dinner
What better term to start with than the namesake of this article? Now, this one seemed pretty innocuous at first, but quickly became a part of the rapid rise of eating disorder culture on the internet. Olivia Maher originated the term “Girl Dinner” on TikTok, describing a dinner pieced together from various breads, cheeses, and fruits. In this video, “Girl Dinner” was synonymous with “Medieval Peasant Dinner”. The internet quickly took hold of this term, and as the internet does, it went wild with it. Women started posting dinners fit for an elementary school snack under the name “Girl Dinner”. What was meant to be a celebration of pieced-together snack feasts became a competition, where the winner eats as little as humanly possible. It was nice at first, but associating being a girl with starving is the last thing we all need right now.
I’m Just a Girl
Some of us did not watch the “Like a Girl” commercial, and it shows. Now, I am not of the belief that the burden of representation should fall on the shoulders of all women, but in reality, it does. In a world where people still worry that a post-menopausal woman would get her period and start a nuclear war, we have to be very careful about the language we use to talk about women. Claiming to be “just” a girl really is that serious. You are not “just” a “girl”. To put it rather harshly, you are probably a grown woman who needs to stop blaming the fact that you do not want to or can’t do something on the fact that you are a woman. In my opinion, this term is the worst of them all, and pushes the same sexist rhetoric as the term “boys will be boys”; they both make the claim that certain negative actions and traits are simply facts that come with being born a specific gender, taking all responsibility to change off of individuals. Girl is not a dirty word, so please stop using it like one.
Stay-at-Home Girlfriends
The “stay-at-home girlfriend” trend is one of the more frightening things to pop up on TikTok in recent years. Now, there is nothing wrong with being a stay-at-home parent; I myself was raised by a stay-at-home dad and would not trade it for the world. But that is not what being a stay-at-home girlfriend is. By true definition (or as true as a TikTok trend can be), a stay-at-home girlfriend is a young woman who opts out of getting a degree or job, and instead opts to homemake for a man who has no legal obligation to her. This is not the same as getting an “M.R.S.” degree, or even getting married straight out of high school. While I do not advocate for either of those routes, at least these women may end up with a degree or divorce settlement in the event their relationship fails (as many teen relationships do). The danger of this trend is that if the man providing for a stay-at-home girlfriend decides he no longer wants to be with her, that woman is left with no income and no degree to fall back on.
That’s a Blue Job
This one is for all the girls who volunteered when their elementary school teachers asked for “a few strong boys” to lift something. The idea of something being a “blue job” is not new. But a darker tradition is hidden under the videos of women having their husbands clean the gutter while they clean the kitchen. The line of logic that places men and women in certain household chores is the same line of logic that places men and women in different careers (if it places women in a career at all). Not-so-fun fact from my high school economics class: the majority of the wage gap does not come from women being paid less than men for doing the same job with the same title. It is a systemic issue that runs far deeper and starts far earlier. Starting in early childhood, boys are encouraged to engage in pretend play that involves building and creating. At the same age, girls are pushed to play house. This difference in upbringing follows us our entire lives. The glass ceiling comes into play when people start their families, or even just when they are expected to do so. A woman on maternity leave will miss months of work, while a man on paternity leave will not. This, combined with the expectation that mothers should stay at home with their children, leads fathers to be promoted more than mothers (or even women of the age to become one).
Girl Math
Have you ever considered the money you got back from a return to be new money that can be spent however you want? Do you consider money saved by buying something on sale to be money you have earned? Do you treat cash like it is free money? Unless you happen to be a Rockefeller, you are probably using what has come to be known colloquially as girl math. All jokes aside, nothing is inherently wrong with treating yourself when a little bit of unexpected money comes your way. The problem lies in associating financial illiteracy with being a woman. Actual “girl math” is math done by a girl, and it is also known as math.
The running theme amongst these terms is that they all claim to speak for girls as a whole. Being a girl is nothing to be ashamed of. Women are not a monolith, and behaving as if we are one is a very slippery slope. Remember that no matter who you are, you are so much more than just a girl.