Every high school senior fears the inevitability of what social media has dubbed “The Great Separation”. But does the transition to university really have to signify the end of all your friendships back home? Here’s what I’ve learned so far about managing old and new friendships in my first two weeks of university.
1. Your hometown friends will not forget you.
Part of what fuels the fear of the Great Separation is that with university comes a brand new environment of people and experiences. Most high school seniors assume that university will sweep all their friends up in a whirlwind of new experiences, and they will no longer have the time or mind to think of their friends back home.
Many seniors forget that with university comes adjustment, and most people will seek comfort in familiar people and places. Ultimately, your hometown friends will feel more comfortable with you than they will with friends they met during Orientation Week.
2. Embrace the Unfamiliar.
The start of university can be an isolating and scary experience. You have just arrived on a campus with thousands of students, perhaps in a new city or country, without your family or friends. This fear of the unfamiliar is something every incoming university freshman, including myself, can relate to.
Orientation week was the weirdest week of my life. As someone with a shy personality, I was intimidated by the sea of new faces and wondered if it was really possible to find my people on this huge campus. Immediately, I missed my high school’s tight-knit community as I was no longer able to search the crowd and find a familiar face. However, being forced out of my shell allowed me to enjoy this new start as much as possible.
3. Friendships Take Time.
On social media, you will often hear of the typical orientation week experience: finding a random person to sit with at meals, exchanging Instagrams with someone you never hear from again, and going on a spontaneous side quest with someone you just met five minutes ago. It is very likely you will experience at least one of these things during your first weeks at university, and it is part of the process of finding your people.
Do not feel discouraged if you do not find your best friends immediately. Making small talk with people (the repetitive “what’s your name and major?”) is the trial and error process of making friends. You will not click instantly with everyone you meet, because making real friendships is a matter of time.
My Takeaways
Is the “Great Separation” really as massive as social media makes it out to be? Probably not. Keep in touch with your friends back home, but engage in the excitement that comes with building new relationships in university!