Since my first ever campus tour during my junior year of high school, college has appeared in my head as a period of finally being able to leave behind any false assumptions made about me from my hometown. It became the moment that I would be able to build an identity for myself with no basis on who my parents are, or who I was friends with in kindergarten, or who I’ve had a crush on. The one thing I did care about holding onto was the connections I had maintained throughout those years. I was excited to meet new people at college, but I knew I was going to have moments where all I wanted was to drive to the closest Dunkin and listen to music in my long-time friend’s Toyota. After being in college for a year, I can look back on all of my breaks that were spent back home with immense joy. My friends and I made the most of our summer, despite having many different commitments and jobs, so here is what I would recommend for staying in touch and making the most of visiting hometown friends.Â
Leaving college is intended for giving yourself a break from regular academic responsibilities. Even if you are working, most of the time you can go home without anything that needs to be done relating to your job. Your schedule does not need to be as rigid. Usually during my shifts, one of my friends would text our group chat to see who was available to hang out later in the night. Even when I was tired and feeling lazy after a long shift, spending that time together afterwards with them did not feel draining. In fact, knowing that I had plans after work, even if it was to play card games while listening to music, lifted my spirits up throughout the day and gave me something to look forward to. Of course, do not feel obligated to go to every single hang-out that your friends initiate, especially if you are feeling drained. It is simply important to remind yourself that while yes, the summer for a lot of people entails work, it is also the time of year to do anything you would not necessarily be able to do at college, and that includes spending time with those you will not see later in the year.Â
It is difficult to find time during the actual semester to fill your friends in on everything that is going on in your life, relating to people they most likely do not know. The first few months of my freshman year made me anxious when it came to finding a consistent time to FaceTime my home friends, meanwhile I was already having a hard time creating a basic schedule for myself. What I have learned throughout the past year is that CONSTANT communication is not a necessity in order to keep those connections. Plan ahead for weekends that you will all be home or even for visits if your colleges are not too far apart. Those are the times to catch up with each other in extensive detail. Telling stories from your semester actually makes the time go fast, which is convenient if you are waiting on food at a restaurant, or driving to a vacation house that is 4 hours away. The strongest friendships are the ones that can be maintained without needing to be near each other 24/7. Definitely check in from time to time just to make sure that they are doing well, but do not panic if you go a while without updating them on every minuscule event in your life.
Follow through with the hypothetical plans you come up with. On a snowy night during my senior year of high school, my friend Tya mentioned her future plan to invite some of our friends and I to her family’s house in Cape Cod, and nearly a year and a half later, those plans took effect. When you mention the possibility of getting dinner with someone over fall or thanksgiving break, actually text them before your trip home and plan it. Separate your time between spending time at home with your family (and pets) while also making an effort to reach out to all the other people you have not seen in a while.Â
It is important to remember that even if you do not believe it, people do miss you when you are away. Even if they do not reach out to you every hour, or they forget to comment on your post. College is an adjustment that takes months, and that sometimes means communication with those far away becomes unintentionally limited. But I guarantee that each time you are reminded of someone you miss, there is someone being reminded of you as well.Â