I know everyone who studies abroad finds a way to talk about it every chance they get, and unfortunately for you, I’m about to become one of those people.
This summer, I spent almost three weeks traveling through Amsterdam, Paris, Lagos, and Lisbon for a business communication study abroad program. I expected new cities, new friends, and probably an embarrassing number of pictures. What I didn’t expect was to develop the worst case of imposter syndrome of my life on a continent I had never been to, surrounded by people I had met maybe three times before.
I was also immediately convinced that I had somehow snuck my way into a program I wasn’t supposed to be in.
How Did I Even Get Here?
The whole thing actually started because of my friend Vaughn, who had done the same program the year before. She came back loving it and basically told me I needed to do it too.
I already knew that my scholarship required a study abroad experience, so when Vaughn told me how much she loved the program, it felt like everything kind of lined up. I applied, went through the interview process, and eventually found out I had gotten in.
Then, through grants and scholarships, I was able to get almost the entire experience funded.
On paper, there were approximately a million signs telling me I was supposed to be there. Apparently, that was not enough to convince me.
It started with something small. Everyone seemed to already have their person. Even though I knew a couple of people before the trip, it felt like everyone else had someone they were already completely comfortable with. Meanwhile, I was trying to figure out where I fit into a group of people I hardly knew before flying across the world with them.
Then we actually started talking to each other.
Our program was split between business and communication studies students, which meant a lot of the people I was traveling with were business majors. What I didn’t realize before the trip was that many of them were also required to complete internships. So, naturally, one of the first things everyone talked about was what they were doing that summer.
Suddenly, people were casually name-dropping companies I associated with LinkedIn announcements and people who had their entire lives figured out.
And I was sitting there thinking, How did I get here?
That feeling followed me into our company visits, too. We would sit down for a presentation, and people around me seemed to already understand the terminology, ask thoughtful questions, and connect what we were hearing to things they had learned in their classes. Meanwhile, I was still trying to understand half of what everyone was talking about.
It didn’t help that I was also one of the younger students on the trip. I had just finished my second year of college, while a lot of the people around me were heading into their fourth. Of course, they had taken more classes, had more internship experience, and knew things that I didn’t know yet.
Of course, they had taken more classes, had more internship experience, and knew things that I didn’t know yet. Obviously, that makes sense now. At the time, though, I was just like, Oh my God, these people are serious.
And I think that was part of what made the first few days so weird. I was excited to be there, but I was also constantly comparing myself to everyone around me without really knowing them yet.
Getting A Little More Comfortable
I don’t think there was one specific moment where I suddenly stopped feeling like that. It was more like every day I got a little more comfortable.
Our communication class definitely helped. It was mostly discussion-based, so we didn’t really have a bunch of assignments. We would read a chapter, take a quiz, and then talk about how whatever we were learning applied to our own work or lives.
During one of our classes at The Hague University of Applied Sciences, I remember saying something during a discussion that the professor seemed really impressed by.
Do I remember what I said? No. Do I remember feeling very smart afterward? Yes.
It was small, but I think I needed that. I started realizing that just because I didn’t know everything everyone else knew didn’t mean I had nothing to add.
The Heineken Experience also helped me get a little more comfortable, although I will give some credit to the beer and a half I had there. But really, I think I just needed time.
The more we talked and actually got to know each other, the less I was thinking about everyone’s internships or how much older they were than me. I also started realizing that a lot of us had never been to Europe before. We were all trying to figure things out in one way or another.
Somehow, I Found My People
By our last night in Amsterdam, things already felt different.
A group of us decided to go out to Escape, which we were told was one of the biggest clubs in Amsterdam. Before we went out, Tiffany and I ended up getting dinner together, just the two of us.
I don’t even know how it happened, but we basically just spilled our guts to each other over greasy Chinese. I had known this girl for, like, a week.
But I think that dinner was one of the first times I realized how quickly you can get close to someone when you’re traveling together.
After that, we went out, had so much fun, and by the time we left Amsterdam, I felt so much more comfortable than I had when we got there.
Then we got to Paris, and I think that’s where everyone really started finding their people. We had two completely free days, which gave us time to actually explore together without having to be at a class or a business visit.
On our last night, a bunch of us bought wine, cheese, and snacks from a convenience store and went to sit by the Eiffel Tower. Which, yes, is probably the most study abroad sentence I could possibly write. But it was so nice.
I remember sitting there and being like, Wait, these might actually be my friends.
I had gone from arriving in Amsterdam feeling like everyone already had their person to sitting under the Eiffel Tower with people I felt like I had known for way longer than I actually had.
And Then There Was Lagos
Lagos was a lot shorter than the other cities, but I loved it.
Everything just felt calmer. We went to the beach, had dinners together, and there wasn’t as much of that feeling that we needed to be doing something every second.
One night after dinner, Tiffany, Alexis, and I ended up back in my room. We had gotten some free drinks from guys we met at the beach earlier, and we just sat there talking.
And again, I was like, how have I only known these people for two weeks?
I genuinely think study abroad messes with the normal timeline of friendship. You’re together basically all day, every day. You’re eating together, traveling together, getting lost together, going out together, and seeing each other at your best and probably your worst.
Obviously, there was drama here and there because, I mean, you put a bunch of college students together in Europe for three weeks.
But I don’t really remember the drama when I think about Lagos.
I remember the beach. I remember our dinners. I remember sitting in my room with Tiffany and Alexis and thinking about how weird it was that people who were basically strangers to me two weeks ago suddenly weren’t.
By The Time We Got To Lisbon
By Lisbon, I think everyone was tired.
Not in a bad way, but we had been traveling for almost three weeks at that point, and I think everyone was starting to feel it. We were still having fun and doing things together, but there was definitely less energy than when we had first gotten to Amsterdam.
I was rooming with Lauryn, who is literally one of the sweetest people ever. She also sleeps with brown noise or white noise playing, which I had never really done before, and apparently it makes me sleep really well. So, thank you, Lauryn, for that discovery.
One night, we had both gotten back to the room pretty late and just started talking.
Lauryn is the promotions director at KTSW, and once we started talking about that, I was immediately interested because I had already been Editor-in-Chief for a semester.
So, naturally, I started telling her everything.
The good, the bad, the ugly. Just all the random things that come with being in a leadership position and being responsible for a bunch of people. I was telling her about things I had dealt with, things I had learned, and things I wished I knew before becoming EIC.
And it was just such a nice conversation.
I think what makes it stand out to me now is that Lauryn was one of those people I thought was just effortlessly cool. She has this gorgeous curly hair that somehow always looks perfect, she works at KTSW, and she’s just one of those people who I remember meeting and being like, Oh my God, she’s so cool.
But that night, I wasn’t thinking about any of that.
We were literally just two girls sitting in a hotel room talking about our lives and the things we cared about.
And looking back, I think that says a lot about how different I felt by Lisbon compared to when I first got to Amsterdam.
At the beginning of the trip, I was so focused on what everyone else had done. Their internships, their experience, how old they were, how cool they seemed. I was constantly finding things about other people that made me feel like I was somehow behind.
Then, three weeks later, I was sitting there giving Lauryn advice because I had already experienced something she was just starting.
Not in some huge, Oh my God, I finally realized my worth kind of way.
It was just nice.
And I think that’s kind of the point.
So, Where Was My Big Study Abroad Revelation?
During our last communication class, we talked about our experiences and what we were taking away from the trip. And I remember sitting there thinking that I didn’t really have some huge answer.
I feel like every time I talk to someone who has studied abroad, they have this crazy story about how they found themselves in Spain or completely changed their outlook on life somewhere in Italy.
And I was like, Well… I learned that Dutch people can kind of be rude.
Obviously, I learned more than that.
But I didn’t have that one huge moment where everything suddenly clicked, and I understood myself on some completely different level. There was no dramatic realization under the Eiffel Tower. I did not come back from Europe as an entirely new person.
However, for a second, I almost felt like I had missed something. Like, did I study abroad wrong? But the more I think about the trip, I don’t think I needed some huge revelation. There were so many little things instead.