1. No one is going to love you more than you love yourself!
Growing up on rom-coms and romance movies, it’s easy to become obsessed with love and all the mushy, gushy feelings that come along with this hormone-filled phenomenon. The idea that the right person can love all your flaws and quirks sounds like a perfect fairy tale movie. Unfortunately, life is not a fairy tale, nor is it a movie. So, finding the perfect guy or girl (ally) isn’t going to magically solve all your problems. The only person who can fill your cup is you. Validation from your partner will never be enough to heal the wound of not loving oneself. No relationship, whether romantic or platonic, will ever be enough to satisfy our need for self-love. You can never expect someone to love you when you don’t even love yourself (Beyoncé).
2. Remember who you are
It’s so easy to fall in love and have it consume your entire being to where all you can think about is the next time you’ll see him. Love is this amazing and wonderful thing, but you must remember it’s not everything. There is so much more to life than having a boyfriend. (I mean that in the nicest way possible). You must remember the girl you were prior to this man. You had a life before, so you sure as hell need to have a life during him. You were a kind, intelligent, and beautiful woman, so make sure you stay that way. Never be okay with your partner trying to dim your shine or change who you are.
3. Know when to leave
Relationships are hard and tricky. If they were easy, everyone would be in one (myself included). However, that is not an excuse to stay in relationships because you believe fighting to stay equals love. News flash: relationships are also meant to be fun and free. The point of a relationship is loving each other equally and happily. If your relationship is constant fights and arguments, it’s not worth it. If your partner makes you feel crazy and causes you to become the worst version of yourself, it’s not worth it. If your relationships are encasing you in a never-ending cycle of self-doubt and isolation, it’s not worth it. But you know what is worth it every single time: YOURSELF. Ladies, to love is to let go. This man could have been the one, but he’s not, and that’s okay. It may hurt so badly and feel like you’re doing everything but dying. It may seem like your life is over because you can actually hear every part of your heart break into shards because of this breakup. But I promise you that a broken heart is going to come back ten times stronger when it heals and sees just how much its owner truly loves themself.
Ladies, remember: having no man is better than having a bad man. Now, you might be thinking, why would I want romantic advice from a single girl? I have one thing to say to you. Coaches don’t play. Okay, I see how y’all get stuck in your whirlwind romance and let your youth and beauty be drained by the life-sucking succubus entity known as Man. So here I am, coaching on the sidelines, coaching y’all through the game of love. Because if Mister Right can’t stay right, we are just going to have to find another one.