When people think long-distance, their mind typically goes to relationships. “Wow! I’m surprised you are staying together.” “Do you think the relationship will work with barely seeing one another?” The number of opinions about long-distance is never-ending. But again, why are long-distance relationships the ones talked about more? Long-distance friendships can be even harder, and often more common. Especially for a college student.
Adjusting
Long-distance friendships can be normalized, but do people seem to adjust so effortlessly? Luckily, technology and having easy access to communication has helped, but that does not mean people do not struggle. Speaking from experience, my friends were people I was with every single day before college. Whether we had school or not, I would much rather go on a random activity with them than be at home without them. Seeing friends post about packing for school sparked a weird feeling. What do you mean, the people I saw every day were about to be hours away in different states? The people I had made countless memories with would no longer be right next door or a 15-minute drive away. In my friend group, I was the very first person to move into college. I was the first goodbye. Though I was excited for all of the opportunities college would bring me, seeing my friends still together at home hurt. I felt left out even though I was four and a half hours away. I got to know people in my dorm and classes, but I still found myself calling a different friend at any moment of free time I had. I wanted to be included. I would FaceTime someone every day and always remain active in our group chat. The adjustment was definitely hard. I left the group I loved and cared about to start from scratch here, making a whole new group.
Memories
Without a doubt, something on campus reminds you of someone from back home. Any reminders of my friends I see, I take it as a sign they’re saying hi. New people you meet will have traits similar to someone from home. My friends here know about my friends back home, along with specific stories regarding the people I talk about whenever I get the chance. Long-distance friendships are highly common for college students, especially when going to an out-of-state school hours away. Staying in touch constantly keeps the friendships growing, even in new environments away from each other. For me, the distance feels smaller when someone comes into my dorm and asks about my photo collages with my friends. Getting to talk about people so special to me is a privilege and a reminder to be grateful for all the important people in my life. I have made so many friends at college, yet I still find myself comparing certain traits they have to my friends from home. Creating new friendships does not mean you are abandoning your friends at home; they remind you of certain people, never letting you forget them.
Growing Apart but Together
There’s always the rumor that long distance causes people to grow apart. While occasionally it can happen, it is ultimately up to those involved. Growing apart is a choice. In college, everyone is given the chance to grow as humans; it could be finding a new hobby or experiencing new things. The friendships could start to feel different, especially as people settle in and find their groups but different is not always a bad thing. I realized being apart from my friends and not experiencing college alongside each other does not need to separate us. We may physically be separated, creating our own new chapters, but in the end we will always come back to each other. My best friend goes to Penn State University making us about 3 hours apart. I text her every day and call her when I can. Even if she is not responding immediately, I say what I need to tell her, and she responds to every message at the first chance she gets. Despite not being at school with her, I still hear all about her days. Watching each other grow and meet all these new people honestly strengthens our friendship, reminding us we were there for the then and now.
Conclusion
College has shown me how long-distance really works. The distance does not need to change the friendships I value from home in the slightest. Is the adjustment hard? Yes. There have been times I just want to sit with my friends and talk like normal, but it’s accepting the distance that helps. I am still adjusting to a new place, but I carry all of the memories I made with my friends from home with me. Long distance takes more time and effort than a typical friendship, but for important people it is worth it. Texting and calling make the distance feel smaller. Though college is a new thing for all of us, the valued people from before do not need to be left behind.