Surely every writer at some point has feared that writing is steeped in egotism—that putting your experiences onto the page is a way of insisting that people especially pay attention to you. Writing creative non-fiction often involves writing about other people, and that, whether we like it or not, is a responsibility. Integrating the people in your life into personal narratives isn’t smooth sailing. There’s plenty you have to consider. Do you have underlying biases about them? And will these affect how you depict them? Should you even mention them at all? Creative non-fiction can have real consequences, but it shouldn’t stop you from writing. However, if you’re feeling stuck, then it’s time to establish some guidelines.
The Myth of Perfection
As writers, we sit down to write with this all-or-nothing mentality. We feel the need to cement things early in the process. This only works against you because what you are actually producing when you seek perfection in your writing is cowardly work. Yes, I know, I have a hard time accepting this, too. In her essay, “Memory and Imagination,” Patricia Hampl writes, “A careful first draft is a failed first draft.” When I first read this, I thought it was rude. Then I thought it was true. Allow your first draft to be incoherent in every sense. Do you not entirely remember how something happened, who was there, and what they said? Amazing. Build those avenues and see where they lead you. Writing creative non-fiction is about rediscovering and reconsidering aspects of your life—this includes people. Hate them or love them on the first draft; the nuance can come in later. If you worry about accuracy from the get-go, you’ll end up hitting the backspace button more times than anything else on your keyboard.
Know When to Use Discretion
Now that you have it all laid out, it’s time to consider the parts of your narrative that are worth expanding, while also identifying what parts should be dialed back. Identify the person or people who shaped the course of your particular experience. Then ask yourself, “Do I want to engage in a productive examination of how their actions affected me, or do I simply want to regurgitate some negative feelings? Do I seek to gain newfound clarity in the relationship I have or had with this person/these people, or do I simply want to gain sympathy from my audience? Can I remain connected to my experience while also keeping a healthy emotional distance from it so I can write not just honest, but meaningful work? It’s easy to go the trauma-dumping route when it comes to writing creative non-fiction. These questions will keep you from falling into this tendency. Myself included!
Setting Boundaries
Even after multiple revisions, creative non-fiction remains a risky genre to publish in. People assume that because your work is out there, your privacy as a person goes out too. I recently made a risky post on Substack, and I was asked who it was about. My instinct was to respond truthfully, because after all, I hit the “publish” button. I paused for a moment and then decided I wouldn’t give in. “I only have one rule when it comes to my work,” I said sheepishly. “Don’t ask who it’s about unless you saw their name.” And in the case that you do name the person or the people, you’re welcome to not expand on what you said if you sense that whoever is asking just wants to stir things up. Try asking them questions about what they thought. Hearing people’s interpretation of your work is always satisfying. But of course, if you feel like your words are being misconstrued, you’re more than welcome to clarify things.
Above all, don’t forget to have fun! Writing can extract so much from us, but when the work is finally finished, it gives us something in return. What we once couldn’t pinpoint now has a dart straight through it. Writing is a commitment we make in search of understanding ourselves, but other people as well.