When celebrities talk about the “price of fame” many people sigh and roll their eyes. To us ordinary people with our 500 Instagram followers, they seem privileged and whiny. “They ‘got famous’ they should have to deal with the consequences.” Right? Well, not exactly. Sure, signing an autograph for a well-meaning fan when you just want to go grocery shopping can be annoying, but for 30 seconds, most celebrities endure. But what about when masses of people stand outside your friend’s wedding, hoping for just a glimpse of you? Or if you are just trying to do your job at a certain theme park, when a grown woman who thinks she knows you, outside of the character you are portraying, shoves her phone in your face for content? Parasocialism, the one-sided connection many form with celebrities, has been a thing since we all convinced ourselves we would get along with our favorite storybook characters as kids. And I do believe we are all guilty of it in some way- I love to think I would be best friends with my favorite music artists, or imagine the questions I would get asked on a celebrity press tour. But in the age of social media, so-called “fans” have pushed boundaries and forced celebs to rethink the entire way they present themselves to the public.
The Swift of It All
The infamous incident of Jack Antonoff’s wedding, as I mentioned in my last paragraph, is probably one of the largest cases of crossing lines with celebrities. It was August of 2023, the peak of Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour. She had just announced she would be releasing 1989 Taylor’s Version, before ending the first leg of the tour. Swift’s collaborator on the album (and many of her others) Jack Antonoff used this break to get married to his then-partner, Margaret Qualley. I remember scrolling on Instagram that day and seeing people post that supposedly, Antonoff and Qualley would be exchanging vows on the Jersey Shore, with Swift in attendance. Now I did not think much of it-what would I do? Show up on the shore to catch a glimpse of my favorite artist at a wedding that was not even hers? The idea seemed simply unreasonable to me, but apparently not to many others. As the streets surrounding the venue were swarmed. Not with guests, but with paparazzi and fans, yelling and ultimately causing surrounding streets to be shut down. All for what? Taylor to not acknowledge them, and carry on at the wedding she was a guest at.
Now three years later, when people complain about the so-called “tackiness” of Swift’s wedding to Travis Kelce at Madison Square Garden, I like to remind them of this incident. Now I do not know Taylor and Travis personally, but I can imagine they dreamed of romantic destination weddings, maybe a ceremony outside at sunset. But they had to go to great lengths to keep their wedding a private affair. One of them, an inside venue, with underground entrances and few windows, not to mention personalized invites and the infamous phone ban. Though Taylor and Travis have been fairly vague about the details of their relationship and its privacy, they tell the world only what they want the world to know, Kylie Kelce (Travis’ sister-in-law) has been quite blunt. When Travis was a guest on her podcast, she made a point to her listeners, who ask questions for her segment “Ask Me Something” that some of their questions are quite invasive. So even if it does not come from them directly, the Swift and Kelce families want the couple to have as much privacy as anyone else.
“Get Off Her!!”
Speaking of celebrities who have clapped back at these so-called fans, Ariana Grande just received a lot of traction for speaking onstage at her tour about boundaries in her life. Long story short (though if you want to read the long story, I covered it here) after it was announced that she would be taking a break from the public eye, many jumped to TikTok, having spent a lot of the past years dissecting the singer’s body on an insanely microscopic level. They call it concern, I call it using big words for views on a video. At the end of the day, no one knows what is going on in Ariana’s life, because again we do not know her. Onstage, Ariana reminded everyone that as grateful as she is for her real fans, she, like anyone, needs to set boundaries.
This all comes less than a year after she was literally attacked at the premiere of her own movie in 2024. In case you all forgot, a person (not a fan) on Instagram (whose profile I will not advertise, because he does not deserve your views or mine) posted repeatedly about going to see his “best friend” Ariana Grande, and then jumped the fence, barreled past security, and rushed at an unsuspecting Ariana on the carpet. It was Cynthia Erivo who appeared to immediately aid her friend and co-star, yelling to the man “Get off her!”
Yet Cynthia and Ariana’s relationship is also something that has been heavily dissected in the media. As someone who grew up in theatre communities, it made sense to me, I always seem to get close with the people I perform with, especially on a dream project, like Wicked was for both of them. But, the increased scrutiny towards their loving female friendship seemed to put a damper on the end of the Wicked: For Good press tour. People continuously mocked them, expressed yet again “concern” for the health of these women they do not know, and when Cynthia publicly stood up for her friend in a dangerous situation, it was reduced to a mere meme on the internet.
Meanwhile on HBO…
A case that will never sit right with me is that at the end of 2025, pop culture was given two power couples: Elphaba and Glinda, and then Shane and Ilya. But the scrutiny that Cynthia and Ariana faced for having a public friendship, was practically revered for that of Hudson Williams and Connor Storrie. The masses loved them together, their friendship was “beautiful” and “adorable.” Interesting how they were seen that way, but the women were “cringe” and “too much.”
This is not to say fans held healthy boundaries with the two either. The tables just turned very far in the opposite direction. Because the concept of Hudson Williams simply having a girlfriend (which was leaked on a gossip site, not announced by the couple) was too much for some watchers of the show (again, not fans). The couple faced intense backlash, because Hudson was not dating a man, like his character does. Many were upset that he and Connor Storrie were nothing more than friends, pushing the two to get together. In fact, Hudson was even followed home by people seeking his autograph, which he refused to give. The video went quite viral in January, with many taking the actor’s side for standing up for himself.
But where is the line?
And herein lies the issue. Parasocialism did not begin with social media. John Lennon was shot and killed by a crazed fan in New York in 1980. But social media has definitely made an already dangerous situation worse, and fast. From “fans” finding Noah Kahan’s hometown and vandalizing places he references in his songs, to the Peter Pan girl on Tiktok, or the way the Pros of Dancing with the Stars are constantly having to tell viewers that they are friends, not to be pit against each other, anyone with a blue checkmark next to their social handle is constantly in a precarious situation. Veterans of the industry, like Taylor Swift or Ariana Grande, have established fanbases where they can set a boundary. But when a newer artist, like Chappell Roan, draws a line with her comparatively smaller (but mighty) fanbase, she runs the risk of losing them. Are we just supposed to let young celebrities be put in danger until the Internet decides they can be left alone?
This topic is a widely debated one, and I too, do not have a concrete solution to the problem. There are so many celebrities I wish I could have coffee with, or take a selfie together, or be friends enough that I can ask about their most recent ex. But I cannot, and I have unfortunately and begrudgingly accepted this (unless I mentioned you in this article and you are reading it and would want to have coffee with ME…lol). Except there are many people that have not, and I hope it does not take another incident for the Internet to step back and take a chill pill.