If I could sit down with my freshman-year self, I wouldn’t tell her to worry less because I know she wouldn’t listen. Instead, I’d tell her that everything she thought was falling apart was actually making room for something better.
Growing up, I was the outgoing one. I could strike up a conversation with just about anyone, so I assumed moving two hours away for college would be easy. I thought making friends would come naturally and that homesickness wouldn’t really affect me.
I was wrong.
Leaving behind my boyfriend at the time, my best friends and the people who had always been my support system was harder than I ever expected. For the first time, I felt completely alone. The anxiety I had never really struggled with before became overwhelming, and I started to withdraw into myself. Then my relationship ended, and what had already been a difficult transition became even harder. I fell into one of the lowest points of my life.
I seriously considered transferring. I convinced myself that maybe I had chosen the wrong school or that maybe college just wasn’t supposed to feel this difficult.
Looking back now, I’m so thankful I stayed.
The version of me that almost packed everything up had no idea what was waiting on the other side of those difficult months. She didn’t know she would find incredible friends who would become family. She didn’t know she would join organizations that would completely change the direction of her career. She didn’t know she would step into leadership roles that would challenge her, help her grow and introduce her to opportunities she never imagined having. She definitely didn’t know she would meet someone who would become such an important part of her life.
Most importantly, she didn’t know that one day she would be okay.
College didn’t magically become easy. There were still stressful semesters, moments of self-doubt and times when I questioned whether I was capable enough. But every challenge taught me something. I became more independent, more confident and more willing to step outside of my comfort zone.
One of the biggest moments came when I accepted an internship in Washington, D.C. Once again, I found myself in a new place where I didn’t know many people. Freshman-year me would have been terrified. Instead, I embraced it. I built connections, gained valuable experience and realized how much I had grown. The girl who once wanted to run home was now thriving somewhere completely unfamiliar.
If freshman-year me taught me anything, it’s that growth rarely feels comfortable. Change can be lonely. It can be scary. Sometimes it feels impossible. But that discomfort often means you’re becoming someone stronger than you were before.
So, dear freshman me, thank you for staying.
Thank you for showing up even when getting out of bed felt impossible. Thank you for giving yourself one more semester when you wanted to leave. Thank you for believing, even just a little, that things could get better.
Because they did.
And to anyone who feels like they’re in that same place right now, wondering if they made the wrong decision or if they’ll ever feel at home, give yourself time. The life you’re hoping for may not arrive as quickly as you want, but it can still be waiting for you. Sometimes the hardest seasons become the ones you’re most grateful you lived through.
One day, you’ll look back and realize that the person you were so afraid of becoming is actually someone you’re incredibly proud of.