When I started college, joining a sorority was the last thing on my radar. In fact, I made no moves to join any clubs my first semester; all I wanted to do was get used to living away from home and being in college, and maybe figure out what, exactly, I wanted to do during the next four years. But when spring semester rolled around and sororities started doing COB, or continuous open bidding, my interest was piqued.
In my first few months at school, I’d changed my tune about Greek life. I saw the community and all the great causes that the chapters supported, and I wanted to have an impact like that, something that would go beyond my college years. So, I decided to try COB. I went to a few houses and chatted with some of the members, but at the end of the day, that gut feeling I’d been searching for — that “this is where I’m meant to have an impact” notion — never appeared. So despite getting some invites to return to some of the houses, I pulled back from the process, and with some encouragement from a friend who was already in a sorority, I decided to set me sights on formal recruitment in the fall.
I took the summer to prepare, immersing myself in RushTok, deciding what to wear, and researching how to get a bid from a house I really connected with. I returned my sophomore year ready to rush. The process was stressful: Most of my friends were in Greek life by this point, so I couldn’t talk to them during the process (active members can get penalized for talking to PNMs during recruitment), and it was so hot out. (TBH, the flat tire I got the morning of the first day of recruitment was when I should’ve realized the universe was telling me this wasn’t the right path, but alas, it took a few more days.)
Despite all this, I was abuzz with how well my conversations had gone the first two days — at least, I thought they had. When my Rho Gamma and I opened my app on Philanthropy Day to see which houses had invited me back, my jaw dropped in surprise. I only had three houses left, and I was only interested in one of them. I made the best of it, though, smiling my way through the day. But on Sisterhood Day, I discovered the one house I had left that I wanted had dropped me. I was confused — I had had a lovely conversation and thought I could see myself there. By that point, I only had two houses left, and I knew that I didn’t like either one as much as others I was dropped from, so I decided to drop out of recruitment.
It was hard. I cried. And then I thought of what I could have been lacking. If I had rushed as a freshman straight out of high school, I think maybe I would have had my pick of houses — I had an incredible high school record, after all — but since I hadn’t joined any clubs or done much of anything my first year of college, perhaps that was why I was being turned away.
So I pivoted. I joined clubs, got better at school, and got my GPA up from 2.7 to 3.0. I spent my sophomore year learning more, doing more, and really getting out of my comfort zone. I started to befriend even more sorority girls on my campus, and they encouraged me to try rushing again during my junior year. And I decided to, because I believed I really had a chance to end up in the right place, somewhere I could contribute to something bigger than myself, for a cause I knew I was passionate about.
Everyone has a different reason for rushing, but for me, I was really into the philanthropy aspect of Greek life. Being part of an organization that was making a real difference in the world, that I could continue to support even after I was done with school, was really what I wanted. And that felt important to pursue, despite my previous setbacks.
So, heading into rush junior year, I was sure I had it in the bag. My grades were up, I was a part of a few clubs, and I contributed a lot to campus. I even requested accommodations during the rounds so I could focus better since I have ADD, which makes it hard for me to keep my focus at times in highly stressful and stimulating environments.
But when I got to Philanthropy Day the second time around and saw that all of the chapters but two had dropped me, again, I told my Rho Gamma I would not settle for a house I knew I didn’t have the best time in. I knew who I was, what I liked, and where I could have the biggest impact, and if the chapters couldn’t see it, then that was on them, not me. So I dropped out. Again.
Despite all this, I have no hard feelings toward Greek life. I love all of the chapters here at my college, and I have worked with them many times to tell their stories, writing about their philanthropic endeavors and publishing them through my school’s Her Campus chapter. I’ve even helped some of my friends prepare for the rush process, because I know firsthand how daunting it is to do it alone, and I’m grateful for the people who helped me when I did it because it was rough.
Philanthropy and community are still a passion of mine, and I’m lucky that I found other organizations to join, both on campus and off, that help fulfill me. It turns out, Greek life just didn’t work out for me, and that’s OK.