I must have spent at least nine of my first eighteen years of life thinking about college. I would constantly question what my life would be like, where I would go, what kind of person I would be once I got there, and, most importantly, how I would even get there. Education was always emphasized in my family, and as the first in my family to go to a four-year university, I had to do a lot of learning on my own. Being in that position forces you to adapt, become independent, and take charge of your own education. Fortunately, I also had people who were willing to guide me and learn alongside me as we figured things out together.
So, after spending so much time and energy dedicated to crafting myself into a well-qualified applicant and preparing myself as best I could, balancing my academics, extracurriculars, and work, I felt that I had earned my spot. However, once I stepped foot onto UCLA’s campus as a student for the first time, I realized the truth was that I was way out of my element.
In your first few weeks of college, you will meet many people – some who have been working on a cure for cancer since they were 13 and others who have barely so much as cracked open a textbook. Yet, you’re all in the same place. What I found most alarming was that it felt like everyone else knew what they were doing – almost as if they had access to some sort of secret handbook that I didn’t even know existed. Which, in a sense, they kind of did. UCLA is made up of 29% first-generation undergraduates, meaning the majority of the student body has parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents who have stood in their same position, which I have found lends a sense of confidence to a person that they are right where they belong.
And while I had been warned about impostor syndrome and the rigor of a college workload, it’s a different experience when you have to start facing those things while standing next to people who have never experienced them. My first quarter was made up of a lot of growing pains – it was difficult to navigate, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. Figuring out how to set up your schedule totally by yourself for the first time is hard, and being separated from the people and places that you’ve been around your entire life is hard. While I don’t think competition is inherently negative, the competitive environment on campus can sometimes make it harder for students to find a sense of belonging – especially when you’re doing so without the aforementioned, mystical “College for Dummies” handbook.
For any future first-generation Bruins (or any other students looking for some tips), my advice is to get used to learning things for the first time. Of course, this isn’t just about your new classes, but also getting used to the process of learning and the other moving parts that come with being a first-year. A lot of that has to do with finding community on campus. But to find those people, you need to get comfortable doing some things alone. Go to an event or a club meeting by yourself, and you will likely find like-minded individuals. It’s also important to include academic mentors in your community, which I know sounds easier said than done. Some of my TAs have been some of the kindest, most interesting, and generous people that I’ve ever met, so please, please, please go to office hours. That’s not to say the process of community building is at all easy; in fact, it’s really difficult, but it is so important to have people that you can lean on when things do get difficult and when you start to second-guess yourself.
As my first year comes to a close, I think it’s important to admit that while it has been a struggle, it has also been a lot of fun and has allowed me to grow so much as a person just within the span of a couple of months. So good luck, Class of 2030!